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I Saw These Pictures Of Darren Criss And Basically Dropped Dead, Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

Yes Darren, my face is red. Now what?

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So there I was, just scrolling through Instagram and minding my own business, when I died. I just dropped dead.


Don't ask me how I'm writing this or we'll get sidetracked. Just go with it, OK?

Now there's no need to get your Sherlock Holmes hat on, because I already know who killed me. It was Darren Criss. Specifically this picture of Darren Criss.

Honestly arrest this picture and throw away the key, it's a danger to society.

So after I died, I decided to do some investigating into how my life could just suddenly end like that, and I found a small video. I pressed play. And I died again.

Instagram: @esquire

Twice in one day really is unfortunate, but Jesus fucking Christ it was worth it.

And if you look at the rest of the pictures from that interview, they all basically have the same effect.

Kathryn Wirsing / Via

*drops dead one time time*

Now I don't know about you but back in the day I had a real crush on Darren Criss when he was in Glee. 16-year-old me was in love tbh.


And I won't lie, now that I'm 24 I think the love has returned along with a bucketload of thirst and unholy thoughts.

Instagram: @darrencriss

Because I mean... just look at his face.

Instagram: @gq

OK, it's hard to look at him for more than five seconds without fainting, but try anyway!

Instagram: @darrencriss

Maybe it's the beard. The beard is pretty great.

Instagram: @darrencriss

Or is it his smile, because that's also v v cute.

Instagram: @darrencriss

The expression "what that tongue do" was created after someone saw this picture tbh.

Instagram: @darrencriss

And what's better than a picture of Darren Criss? A picture of Darren Criss with Ricky Martin, that's what.

Instagram: @darrencriss

I will happily go and hang out in the middle of them both.

Because in case you didn't know, the two of them are now starring in the new TV show The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story.

Instagram: @darrencriss

Unfortunately we can't really think that Darren's hot in this, even though he is, because he plays a murderer and that's kinda* problematic.

*OK very problematic.

*OK very problematic.

But fortunately he seems like a much nicer guy IRL, so we'll cling to that instead.

Instagram: @darrencriss

Anyway, I've spent far too long chit-chatting. After all, I'm meant to be dead so yeah, RIP me. BYE!