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19 Things You'll Understand If You're Slightly Obsessed With Masturbating

My right arm is bigger for a reason.

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1. Your internet history is a dreadful read.

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pornpornASOSporntumblrporn.

2. You masturbate at least once a day.

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3. But sometimes once a day just isn't enough.

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4. There are times where you could masturbate all day.

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5. You've got masturbating down to a science, which means you can get off in 43 seconds flat if you want to.

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6. But sometimes you like to draw it out and make it last longer.

It's like a special treat to yourself.
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It's like a special treat to yourself.

7. You find that masturbating is de-stressing at times.

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It's just a release.

8. You do it when you're bored, even if you're not exceptionally horny.

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9. Sometimes you'd rather masturbate than have sex.

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10. If somebody else does it to you, you can't help but think how much more efficient it would be if you just took over.

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11. You've experimented with techniques and toys to try and mix it up.

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Using lube is an extra special treat for some people.

12. You have masturbated in some strange and interesting places.

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13. But you've learnt to never ejaculate in the bath.

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Never do that, ever.

14. You've probably been caught masturbating at one point in your life.

A haunting memory that stays with you forever.
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A haunting memory that stays with you forever.

15. You feel a sense of achievement if you masturbate more than a certain number of times.

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16. And you're genuinely surprised when you realise you haven't done it in a while.

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17. You've wondered if masturbating is counted as a workout because of that one time you did it for too long and your arm felt like it was going to drop off.

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18. You sometimes wonder if you masturbate too much.

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19. Then you realise that's silly, of course you don't.

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And you do it again just because you can.