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This Is Exactly What It's Like When You Have A Work Crush

Fuck's sake, Doris. Keep your hands to yourself.

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9:09. He leans over the coffee machine, changing the filter. For a moment you think how great it would be if he changed your filter.

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You're not sure what this entails but it's with Kevin so it must be good.

You settle for a questionable sounding laugh, which sounds equal measures hyena and llama.

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You run back to your desk, adamant you've fucked up your wedding day.

10:18. You're looking at gym memberships because Kevin probably goes to the gym.

When you see Kevin's biceps, you start imagining him all hot and sweaty and covered in baby oil and you're not even remotely sorry for thinking these things.

11:02. After throwing dirty looks over your shoulder at Sally, you hear Kevin laugh.

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This is a strange concept as Sally has never said anything remotely funny in her life.

11:05. You storm off to the bathroom to have an angry wee. While you're in there, you give yourself a pep talk in the mirror.

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"You're going to be dead caj and all 'who's Kevin' when you go back in there."

11:08. You're heading back into the office when you round the corner and crash into somebody.

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Of course, it's Kevin. NBD.

Now's your second chance to say something cool and smooth to savour the situation.

14:37. After much deliberation, you decide you don't fancy Kevin any more. A sexual relationship would just complicate the working environment.

15:03. Kevin still hasn't acknowledged you. You decide that you quite like Bob from HR.

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"Don't cry, Kevin. This was almost as hard for me as it was for you."

16:45. Kevin has been talking to Sally AND Doris for the last 43 seconds. You decide he has no respect to be just blatantly rubbing it in your face like this.

17:13. You've had enough of playing cute. You decide you're just going to go up there and ask him out for a drink. What's the worst that can happen?

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You finally go over to his desk because you've spent the last 11 minutes thinking of the best opening line.

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