Your landlord has ignored the majority of your phone calls because he knows you want him to fix something.Your landlord enjoys watching you live in squalor.You hate your landlord.Your rent is astonishingly high.Your house hasn't been redecorated in at least 10 years.Possibly 20 years.It's cold during winter.It's cold during summer.There's never any hot water.You have to run the tap for at least five minutes before you get hot water.One of your housemates uses all the hot water.You encountered a rat using all the hot water.The house is infested with mice.The house is basically a petting zoo.You live with more than two people.You live with more than five people.There are more than 10 of you living in the house.There's mould in the bathroom.There's mould in the kitchen.There's not one room that doesn't have mould.The radiators don't work.You've listened to your housemate have a disappointing one-night stand.Your housemates have listened to you have a disappointing one-night stand.You always have a cold.Someone has stolen your food from the fridge.Someone has stolen your food from the cupboard.One of your housemates has left passive-aggressive notes around the house.You've left passive-aggressive notes around the house.The sink is always full of dishes.There's always crumbs on the counter.Your electric bill always appears out of the blue.Your electric bill is ridiculously high.One of your housemates has been sick somewhere that's not the toilet.The smell of sick is still lingering.There's a musty smell to the house.All the tables have three legs.You've moved out of the house before the contract ended.Your mum has come to visit and cried for 10 minutes because her baby is living in a squat.You're embarrassed to bring friends back to the house.There's a takeaway across the road.There's more than one takeaway on your street.You have to get the bus to uni.The bus takes more than half an hour.One of your housemates always plays music too loud.One of your housemates is a music student.One of your housemates is a drama student.There's only one bathroom.The internet is really slow.The internet signal doesn't reach your bedroom.The back garden is just concrete.You don't have a back garden.Your bedroom doesn't have a window.You rented the house privately and regret this decision because everything's going wrong.You wish you could move somewhere else.The drain is full of hair.You're not entirely sure who this hair belongs to.You don't have a bathtub.Your neighbours are students.Your neighbours have a house party at least once a week.Nobody in the house can cook.You're the only person in the house that can cook.The cupboards are filled with super noodles.You don't have broadband.You don't have the internet.You don't have a TV in the living room.The kitchen is the living room.The bathroom is in the kitchen.You have a toilet in your bedroom.You have a cooker in your bedroom.Your bedroom is your house.
How Bad Was Your Student House?
You don't live in a hellhole at all! You're lucky enough to have won the student property stakes and you're basically a queen living it up in luxury. Someone pass the crown, you're doing just fine!
Your house could do with some improvements but your landlord's just a tad slow on the uptake. Nevertheless, you could live somewhere much worse! There's a slight cause for concern but nothing major here.
You definitely didn't go into this with a straight head and now you're counting the days until you can leave. Next time think long and hard before you sign on the dotted line – living in squalor once is more than enough!
GET. OUT. NOW. Your house is the worst, there's no other way to break it to you. Those mice are living rent free and acting like they own the place. No point trying to amend that fact. Just get out now and find somewhere acceptable to live STAT.