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Is Your Sex Life British Or Nah?

Working hard for that after-sex cuppa.

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  1. Tick off all the things you've done:

    Apologised during sex
    Apologised for apologising during sex
    Said “thank you” after having sex
    Made a request while having sex and then added “please” on the end because you didn’t want to be rude
    Had a pre-sex cup of tea
    Had an after-sex cup of tea
    Stopped having sex to make a cup of tea
    Recognised tea and digestives as basically foreplay
    Had sex with your socks on
    Actually never had sex with your socks off in your life
    Had sex with the lights off
    Never had sex with the lights on
    Pretended you really liked something when you actually didn’t, you just didn’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings
    Had sex while the soaps (Coronation Street, Eastenders etc) were on in the background
    Paid more attention to what was on the TV than the actual sex
    Avoided eye contact during sex
    Stopped having sex because you thought your pet was watching
    Owned a sex toy that was given to you by a friend who thought it was a funny gift for your birthday
    Been to Ann Summers for some bits to spice up your sex life
    Owned some sexy underwear that you’ve never actually worn, it’s just stuffed at the back of your drawer collecting dust
    Refused to have sex because it’s too cold
    Said no to sex because it required leaving the house
    Used “I’ve got a headache” as an excuse to not have sex because tbh you just can’t be fucking arsed
    Said the phrase “spooning always leads to forking”
    Referred to going down on someone as “motting”
    Used “banging” as another word for having sex
    Used “shagging” as another word for having sex
    Used “willy” as another word for penis
    Had sex in a tent
    Had sex in the back of a car
    Had sex in a single bed while at uni
    Had sex in a castle
    Used "GBBO" innuendos to flirt with someone
    Used "GBBO" innuendos as dirty talk while actually having sex

Is Your Sex Life British Or Nah?

Your sex life isn't very British at all. You don't feel the need to apologise for anything during sex, and you're more than happy to take your socks off to get down to business.

Not very British at all! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
BBC
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You're sex life isn't that British, but it has British aspects. Maybe you've had sex with your socks on before, or it could be that dildo your friend bought you for your birthday that's still in its box under your bed.

A little bit British! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
BBC
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Your sex life is pretty British. You probably have sex with the light off more than you leave it on, and you've definitely had sex while Eastenders has been on in the background. Don't worry, we won't tell your partner you were paying more attention to that.

Fairly British! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
CBS
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Your sex life is very British! You probably use the word "banging" or "shagging" and you're definitely the type to flick the kettle on and make a cuppa once the business is over and you've thanked your partner.

Very British! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
IFC
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Your sex life is so British, it'd be surprising if you weren't singing the national anthem while you were doing it. God bless your polite and slightly awkward sex life.

The most British sex life in the country! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
giphy.com
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