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12 Differences Between Gay Sex In Porn And Gay Sex In Real Life

Sure, let's eat a burrito and then have sex, sounds like a great idea.

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1. In gay porn, EVERYBODY is available for sex.

ABC

In real life, if you tried to pay for your pizza with your ass, there's a slim-to-none chance it would actually work.

2. In gay porn, actors get down to the business without so much as a wet wipe in preparation for all the sex.

Logo TV

In real life, spontaneous sex isn't always advisable.

Warner Bros

3. In gay porn, you'll often find they can stick it in without any foreplay whatsoever.

In real life, THAT WOULD FUCKING HURT.

Fox

4. In gay porn, you never see them apply lube. Apparently you can just slip in and that's that.

CBS

In real life, you could easily empty half a bottle of the stuff.

Paramount Pictures

5. In gay porn, they will literally fuck anywhere.

Channel 4

In real life, it's pretty impossible to have sex at the back of a busy lecture hall without someone turning around and noticing.

Warner Bros

6. In gay porn, bottoms are folded down like pretzels to get into the weirdest sex positions.

20th Television

In real life, not everybody is able to get their legs behind their head and around their neck.

Universal

7. In gay porn, condoms just magically appear on a dick, like literally out of nowhere.

E4

In real life, there's a lot of faffing about trying to open the packet and get it on the right way.

Sony Pictures Television

8. In gay porn, everybody bottoms with grace and ease.

In real life, it's much harder to just take a dick in the butt.

Metro Goldwyn Mayer

9. In gay porn, there is a distinct lack of towels being used.

BBC 2

In real life, towels are something of a common factor. It’s either that, or you risk sleeping on lube-stained sheets.

10. In gay porn, everybody is versatile.

CBS

In real life, this is bullshit.

Channel 5

11. In gay porn, apparently cramp isn't a thing.

In real life, cramp is very much a real thing.

Warner Bros

12. In gay porn, you could be fucking for hours.

FremantleMedia Enterprises

In real life, you'd be lucky (depending which way you want to look at it) to last one.

AMC