24 Horror Stories That Prove Men On Tinder Are The Absolute Worst
TL;DR delete Tinder, you deserve better.
1. The pre-date block.
"Five minutes before I meet my date, he texts me and says, 'So my friend and I have this agreement. Anytime we meet a girl that we would like to date, the other has to sleep with her first. It’ll only take 10 minutes.' He tried to convince me by telling me he slept with his friend’s girlfriend the weekend before. BLOCKED."
– Nicolette Nickerson, Facebook
2. The bathroom mess.
"Me and this guy went on a date to a local hockey game. He got so drunk that I let him pass out on my couch. A couple of hours later, I woke up and he was peeing on the carpet outside my bedroom door. He stumbled to the toilet and was in there for a while. When he was done I went to check and found that he’d shit himself and smeared it all over my bathroom."
– Jaime Justice, Facebook
3. The memorable date.
"My Tinder date announced that he'd been drinking for eight hours before we met. My friend went to college with him, so I text her to get the lowdown. She replied: 'Man child. Hot, but not worth it. MOUNTAINS of cocaine.' So I decided to leave. I got through the whole process of putting on all my layers and saying goodbye. An hour later I got a text from Tinder dude saying, 'Hey, did you leave?'"
– Kate Wallace, Facebook
4. The unexpected viewing party.
"I matched with a guy so we went out for drinks, and about an hour later he suggested we go back to his place. In the middle of the movie he starts kissing me. Eventually he stops and says, 'You know what would make this hot?' He whips out handcuffs and being drunk and horny, I agreed. He handcuffs me to a chair and says he’ll be right back. He comes back with a girl and they proceed to have sex on the couch in front of me."
– Chris Miller, Facebook
5. The post-date text.
"I matched with this guy and we decided to meet up. The date was so perfect, we ended up going back to my place. He stayed the night and the next morning, we went out to breakfast. A couple of hours later, he text me saying, 'Hey I know you’re going to hate me, but I was wondering if your roommate is single by any chance?'"
6. The fist bump.
"When I met the guy he was already drunk. He told me the best way to warm up your hands was to shove them in the carcass of a freshly killed lamb. He also fist bumped a pregnant lady and said, 'Well done on getting some.'"
7. The inappropriate tickler.
"I was talking to this guy on Tinder and we decided to meet. An hour goes by when suddenly, out of the blue, he says, 'I like to tickle people.' I tried to change the subject when suddenly I feel his hands on my ribs. When he didn’t stop trying to tickle me, I said I needed to go to the toilet and never came back."
– Matthew Partlett, Facebook
8. The first date meet and greet.
"This guy picks me up for a date. On the way, he says he forgot something at his aunt's house and would I mind if we head there quickly. Next thing I know his aunt is ushering me in. Behind the door, his entire extended family (uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents) were standing around. He then told me to sit in the living area with the little kids while he ate a family meal next door."
– Vix Allaway, Facebook
9. The conspiracy theorist.
"I went for drinks with a guy who tried to convince me that the Sandy Hook shooting was a hoax invented by Obama to help push through gun control laws."
– Gretchen Schrader, Facebook
10. The mini life story.
"I once matched with a dude that was married for 10 years, was obsessed with drug addicts, and cheated on his wife with her brother. I learned all that in the first five minutes."
– Sebastian Meza, Facebook
11. The secret celebrity.
"I decided to meet my Tinder date at his house. When we got to his room he said, 'I’ve been hiding something from you' and went on to describe his secret celebrity life as a sponsored yo-yoer. The next hour was him showing me videos of him yo-yoing and talking about how he had to change his name because he was so famous amongst 10-15 year old boys."
12. The uninvited guest.
"I decided to take up the offer for a Tinder match to cook me dinner. When I arrived, I realised not only did he have two daughters, they were asleep upstairs, along with his mum who also lived in the house. The best part was when his baby mama came in screaming and trying to kill me. I had to hide in the bathroom while the cops were called."
13. The pre-date grooming.
"In the first 20 minutes, my date told me that he’d shaved his cock and balls especially for our date. I downed my coffee and left."
14. The torn anus.
"I met a guy on tinder who told me on our date that he’d been to the doctors that day because he had a torn anus. I cringed as he continued to tell me that his stools were too large."
15. The hot dog lover.
"My date was talking about how hot it was and casually told me that he hadn't showered in four days because he'd just get sweaty again. He then told me about this place that served the best hot dogs. He even got a tattoo of their logo so he could get free hot dogs. But shortly after he got the tattoo, the place shut down."
– Anna Fedoris, Facebook
16. The Cinderella story.
"I went for dinner one night with a guy I’d matched with. At the end of the date I got in his car, and this guy immediately calls his mother and starts telling her all about the date while I’m sitting next to him. I then heard her say, 'Make sure you’re home by midnight.'"
17. The religion conversion.
"He invited me to dinner and then told me I had to order off the kids menu. He then made sexist and racist jokes throughout the date and told me I would have to convert to Judaism before I gave birth to our children."
18. The proposal.
"One time on a first date, the guy asked if we could have a threesome with his sister."
19. The comedy show.
"I went to a comedy show with a Tinder match. The show started and he was hysterically laughing at every single joke, so much so that the comedian even commented that it wasn’t that funny. When I told him I wanted to go home, he had brought so much attention to himself that the comedian noticed us going and said, 'You guys leaving?' My date turns around and says to the comedian and the entire bar, 'Yup. Rough sex time!'"
20. The boob obsession.
"One of the first things my Tinder date said was, 'Your boobs are a lot bigger in person, you should show them off more.' He then stared at my chest and asked, 'Can I just squeeze one?'"
21. The dungeons and dragons club.
"My date insisted on stopping by his favourite pub while walking me back to the station after dinner. It turned out that he wanted to prove to his dungeons and dragons club that he really did get a date."
22. The strand of hair.
"I gave my date a hug goodbye. He texted me 30 minutes later and said, 'I found a strand of your hair on me. It makes me miss you.'"
23. The circumcision debate.
"A guy spent five full minutes giving me a detailed pros and cons list for circumcision. I didn’t ask for it. He just got himself on that topic."
24. The bruised ego.
"My Tinder date told me that ending up in bed with him was inevitable. When I told him I wasn't interested, he got his phone out, deleted my number, and then asked me what it ended with so that he knew which one to block."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.