1.
When you've had two wines before dinner and want a new profile pic.
2.
When he sends a dick pic and it's so good you gotta show your mates.
3.
But it's a different story when it's a really ugly dick pic.
4.
When you're in a new area, log onto Grindr, and find out you're the only top in a mess of bottoms.
5.
Which isn't as bad as logging onto Tinder and getting that "no one new around you" message.
6.
When you're getting ready for a Grindr date and they cancel last minute.
7.
When you're on a first date and a guy asks how you spend your weekends.
8.
But this is how you actually spend your weekends.
9.
When a guy asks if you're "str8 acting".
11.
When you're sexting someone and pull out the "daddy" card.
12.
But it hurts when you're sexting a guy only a few years younger than you and he decides to call you "daddy" instead.
13.
When you get caught up sexting and say you're totally into kink, then instantly regret it IRL.
14.
When you wake up the next morning and read the drunk sexts you sent the night before.
15.
When you wanna be petty and turn your read receipts on.
16.
When he thinks a little spit is enough lube.
17.
When you're talking about last night's hookup, and your friends only want to know one thing.
18.
When your sober friends are trying to help your drunk ass get into the club.
19.
When you're in the club bathroom and you hear "Y'all haters corny with that illuminati mess".
20.
When your relatives ask you to "tone it down".
21.
When you see your crush and you're tryna act natural around a swan.
22.
When he asks "how many other guys you talking to?"
23.
And finally, when you're sick of all the fuckboys and you just want to settle down with someone nice.
