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24 Shocking Wolverhampton Problems

No, I'm not from Birmingham.

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1. Everyone thinks your accent is from Birmingham.

ABC / Via tumblr.com

2. And if you try to correct them, they imitate you with a bad Brummie accent.

Via giphy.com

3. Everyone assumes you went to school with Liam from One Direction.

Jason Merritt / Getty

4. And that you live next to Caitlin Moran.

Stuart C. Wilson / Getty

5. No one understands that you might actually WANT to live in Wolverhampton.

Via giphy.com

6. And they laugh when you tell them that your neighbouring Birmingham is the new world capital.

Via giphy.com

7. You're not edgy enough for Planet.

8. And sometimes all you just want is a nice night out in Oceana.

9. But then you realise it's now Faces. Which makes you feel like a nostalgic O.A.P.

10. People look confused when you greet them with, "Alright..."

11. ...and then they try to answer with, "fine, thank you!"

12. People often forget our perfectly adequate airfield and claim you can't fly into Wolverhampton.

Disney / rebloggy.com

13. You failed your driving test by being in the wrong lane on the ring road.

14. You'll also never really know how to get to PC World. #ringroadproblems

15. No one seems to agree that Chapel Ash is "up and coming".

16. And that the new Sainsbury's really is all that!

17. Nowadays, if you go to the Central Baths the sauna is out of order.

18. And there's no water in the pool.

19. You spend a lot of time moaning about how money has been spent on those crazy fountains instead of better public services.

20. You're terrified of the flying sheep with wolves inside them at Wolverhampton Art Gallery.

21. Every time you want to see a Hollywood blockbuster, you remember Cineworld is on the other side of the planet.

mcbrayers.tumblr.com / Via giphy.com

So you have to settle for an art house film at the Lighthouse instead.

22. Although you love Christmas, you hate Orville.

And you're also terrified of the Krankies.
Flickr: badgreeb_records / Creative Commons

And you're also terrified of the Krankies.

23. And though you'd never admit it, you know our Christmas market isn't quite as good as the one in Birmingham.

Flickr: 126301525@N06 / Creative Commons

24. And although you desperately need to take the train, you will never be brave enough to face that dodgy new bridge.