1.
Just saw the new Star Wars movie. Strange that they made all the characters cats, but they swung for the fences and you gotta respect that shit.
2.
The Force Awakens was about reigniting nostalgia and inviting new fans to old myths. The Last Jedi was about how nostalgia is a trap, but if you let it go you can build from its memories new myths. The Rise of Skywalker is about...two hours long.
3.
Star Wars 1977, Star Wars 2019
4.
“I’m Rey.” “Rey who?” *Rey looks around for a moment, then smiles* “Rey Star Wars.” DIRECTED BY JJ ABRAMS
5.
You happy now?
6.
Quiz: RISE OF SKYWALKER or CATS character? Old Queefingguts Brimbletongue Snatchlicker Chode Kumload Poe Dameron Mr. Flidgetysmibblebumtumgubber Chewbacca the Teashop Pussy
7.
new star wars charming af. 147 character moments with zero concern about earning any of them. may we all one day be that bold.
8.
Hey, it’s a Star Wars movie, don’t think about it too much. Just sit back and enjoy it. Just sit back and enjoy this incomprehensible, migraine-inducing mess of people running around screaming while planets explode
9.
repeating to my self in the mirror "Star wars is for adults" before seeing the final one & having a violent reaction like ingesting a poison
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11.
The Walt Disney Company spent half a billion dollars to tell Rian Johnson he sucks. Frankly, he does not deserve such a tremendous honor.
12.
Rise of Skywalker is the perfect culmination of the Star Wars series. An accidental masterpiece on the impossibility of art under late capitalism. Five Bags of Popcorn and ten Babu Fricks.
13.
The biggest fault of this new Star Wars trilogy is that it didn’t provide us with a shitty/nothing character that I can ironically love for the next 20 years.
14.
You can fix most of the plot problems in Rise of Skywalker with a small change to the opening crawl
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16.
THE RISE OF SKYWALKER should have been about the slow transformation from Kylo Ren to Ben Solo. It should have been Ben trying to help Rey and the Resistance, even though they (rightfully) don’t trust him. Instead, we got an entire movie about a fetch quest for two MacGuffins.
17.
I cannot believe that the actual intro for Rise of Skywalker is “EMPEROR PALPATINE has started a podcast”
18.
I think my biggest problem with Rise of Skywalker is that the movie’s only theme is “you guys like this right????? please????”
19.
the rise of skywalker was written by a forum thread where each person posts the next word of the script
20.
watching the rise of skywalker is like telling an acquaintance you ate potato salad once and enjoyed it, and then having that acquaintance break into your home in the middle of the night, tie you to a chair, and mash potato salad into your face and eyes for 2+ hours
21.
the rise of Skywalker answers the question: what if you tasked a marketing team to write the last movie
22.
RISE OF SKYWALKER is bananas. It's like a big submarine sandwich but the only ingredients are banana peppers and it's being served to you on an exploding spaceship and everyone is yelling
23.
No spoilers but the three biggest surprises in Rise of Skywalker: 1) It had very little connection to the first 8 movies. 2) It was a musical. 3) Everyone was a cat.