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    18 Hilarious New Years Tweets From 2019 That Are Even Funnier A Year Later

    Let's think back to a simpler time.


    i’ve decided to lay low for new year’s eve and not spend the first day of the decade hungover sobbing in the shower



    My new years resolution is to not eat an oreo every time i walk into the kitchen


    Pretty excited it's a new year Now I can fuck this one up too


    SAYING YOU ARE MAKING A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION • predictable & boring • nobody wants to hear about it SAYING YOU "THINK THE TIDES ARE TURNING" • what the hell does that mean? • are you some kind of ocean wizard? • you seem mysterious & powerful


    Dec 24: Christmas Eve Dec 25: Christmas Day Dec 26: Boxing Day Dec 27-30: Every day feels like a Sunday, proof that time is a social construct Dec 31: New Year's Eve Jan 1: New Year's Day Jan 2: Reality hits


    Me on NYE at a house party with 10 people:


    Idk who needs to hear this but if you're thinking about having a basic ass roaring 20's party because of 2020.... please invite me


    -wake up from New Years party still in my jeans ✅ -tweet out “2020 is my Year 😈”✅ -cover myself in axe body spray instead of showering ✅ -scroll through Instagram and see she had her New Years kiss with him✅ -oh god it hurts so bad✅ -oh well there’s always next year✅



    Me giving her and her boyfriend a safe ride home from their New Year’s Eve party


    january rent watching all your christmas and new years eve plans


    my only two new years resolutions are to: 1) release my inhibitions 2) feel the rain on my skin


    My resolution, and I think it’s doable, is to run so fast into a chain link fence that I come out as cubes.


    if I was in charge of the London fireworks display


    Just saw a dude carrying lettuce in one hand & more lettuce in a bag in his other hand and he was taking bites of the hand lettuce like it was a nice treat. So my resolution for 2020 is I don’t want to see that ever again.



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