My name is Bella*, and I'm a sex worker. Specifically, I'm a prostitute (sex work includes everything from nude photo shoots and porn to stripping). I operate out of a brothel in the ACT, Australia, meaning that everything I do is legislated, and therefore legal, I even have to pay tax. I know, bloody government, right? In my five months of working so far (I'm a newbie in the industry) I've noticed that so many of our clients come in and have no idea what to expect or how to act. In popular culture the protocols surrounding paying for sex are really badly portrayed, not showing how we really work. Never fear! Bella is here, and I've written (with the help of my co-workers) a handy guide of what you need to know when visiting a brothel.
1. Be Clean.
Yes, I know, seems like a stupid thing to say, right? When you go into a booking the first thing that your girl is going to do is what we call a "health check". Essentially, we get a little torch and get all up in your junk with it. If we see something that looks nasty, from potential STD/STIs to a build up of dick-cheese, we won't book with you. The number of times I've seen a guy pull back a foreskin and been presented with a bunch of white mank is unbelieveable. It might not be a disease, but it is bacteria, and I'm not taking my chances with that. These things being said we will make you take a shower before the booking anyway, but if you've got bad hygiene from the get go the chances are you're not going to be allowed to book. Good general hygiene is always appreciated as well – there's nothing worse than being told by your girl that you need to swill with mouthwash before the booking!
2. Safety First.
All sexual acts in a brothel require protection. Period. Condoms are a 100% must. Not only is it illegal to provide 'natural' (no-condom) services, but it's also unsafe. These are our first line of defence for our safety and health, the second line of defence being the health check. Don't ask girls in a brothel to provide a 'natural' service. We will say no, and probably be a bit peeved that you even asked.
3. Be Polite and Respectful.
The most common thing that puts me off about clients is rudeness or disrespect. Often men will come though and say "I'm just seeing what's out there". I am not a 'what', neither are the wonderful women I work with. We provide a service, which is a 'what', but we as service providers are still a 'who'. If you're polite, kind and respectful you're more likely to engage with the girl you book, we'll appreciate the good treatment and reciprocate it. Think of it as not being rude to the people who cook your food, or they might spit in it. While we try not to provide a less than standard service, it's hard to do your best when the person you're working with clearly has no regard for you at all. I get it, it's easy to think of us as objects (especially given what it is we are selling), but on the whole we are a bunch of laid back, hilarious girls who live lives like everyone else who provide a unique service on the side.
4. Have an idea of what you want.
You don't need to walk into a brothel and know exactly "I want a 5'4" blonde with a 12C cup size, 10 dress size, who will do reverse cowgirl and spank me", but having a general idea is helpful to everyone involved. You know what you find attractive in a girl: long hair, short hair, blue eyes, long legs, nice hands… Everyone is different, that's the beauty of our industry. Don't be afraid to come in, meet the girls and walk away if none of them appeal to you. We're not offended, we get it! It's a good idea to know what you want in a service, what positions you enjoy or would like to try, and what acts you would like to do. From wanting to try a bit of light spanking to foot play, all sorts of services are available, which leads to the next point;
As with any sexual encounter, communication is the key to a good experience. Let the girls know what you want to try, what feels good to you, if you want something, ask: the worst thing that is going to happen is that they say no. The beauty of visiting a brothel is the complete freedom to ask for exactly what it is you want: we don't judge. One of the gorgeous women I work with specialises particularly in S&M, she has the implements, experience and predisposition to do these things, some specialise in anal, others in 'titty-fucking', we each have things we do that are outside the 'norm' that we don't find shameful, embarrassing or strange. Our job is to provide these services in a safe, judgement free (and sexy) environment. Most of these speciality things fall into the category of "extras", leading to;
6. "Full/Standard Service" vs. "Extras".
Many people are confused by the term 'Full/Standard Service'. Everywhere is different, but I'll share how my brothel does things – a full/standard service includes a massage, oral sex on the client and intercourse. This is, broadly, what most clients are looking for. Intercourse includes any positions the girls are able to do (please keep in mind that we aren't Olympic gymnasts, just because it looks good on the internet doesn't mean it feels good or is feasible to us mere mortals), good ol' condom covered penis in vagina intercourse. Oral on the client, of course, is done using a condom. Then there's the wide and wonderful world of "Extras". Again, every brothel is different, so I can only speak for mine. From kissing of the breasts and body, passionate kissing, fingering, oral on the girls, anal, bondage, spanking, titty fucking, girlfriend experience, feet play, anal… The list is endless! These are called extras because they aren't included in the price of a booking. Different girls provide different extras, and charge differently for each service. For example, for a girlfriend experience (GFE commonly) I'll charge an extra $300 an hour, whereas some of the girls I work with will charge $150 an hour. Everyone is different, which is why it is so important when you first meet the available girls that you communicate what it is that you want!
7. Don't Bargain.
We are providing a service. You wouldn't barter over the price of a haircut with your hairdresser, don't try to bargain with us over the price of a service. Sometimes extra fees are flexible, but the standard booking fee is set. Don't be an annoying person looking for a discount, accept the prices as they are. If the prices are out of your range, there are usually more than one brothel in an area, shop around to see the different prices available, or do a quick Google search to find an establishment in your price range.
8. We're People!
Again, seems pretty straightforward, right? Wrong. The amount of rudeness, disrespect and sometimes downright nastiness I sometimes experience from clients is shameful. I'm a woman providing a service. The first part of that sentence is the most important part – I'm a woman! I have a family and a life and dreams and ambitions, and I'm also providing you with a service. Regardless of the nature of the service I need to be afforded a basic amount of human respect and decency. You may not think what I'm doing is 'respectable' or 'decent', but remember that if those are your thoughts, you're the one who is keeping me in business. If you really feel this much disdain for me and my colleagues, kindly stay away. You'd never be able to pick me or my colleagues out of a lineup on the street, we could be your sisters, your friends, people who are important in your life who have a second life after dark. As said earlier, if you're nice to us you're going to receive a better service, and we feel better: it's a win-win scenario. If you're rude you're likely to be kicked out. Remembering that we're people means that everyone wins!
Hopefully all of these things seem like complete useless common sense to you, dear reader, and you don't understand why people need to be told these things. To those of you who have learnt something new I hope you use your newfound knowledge for good and not evil!
Til next time, oh great big world of 'Johns',
*Name has been changed for obvious reasons