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1. A vibrant slotted spoon that will leaf you breathless.
2. A hardcover journal with a dial in the center you can turn to reflect the day's mood.
3. A sampler box of handmade soap ends for anyone who gets bored of scents easily.
4. A windshield cover featuring the whole gang so your Ford Falcon can feel more like the Millennium Falcon.
5. A CBD bath bomb so you can really relax.
6. A trio of legendary hot sauces you don't even have to go to Austin to get.
7. A drinking card game great for parties where everyone could use some encouragement with the libations.
8. Slim, heart-shaped sunnies so you can get into the holiday spirit in the coolest way possible.
9. A fuzzy blanket for snuggling that's out of this world (because it's glow in the dark!!!).
10. A pack of llama pens that are just woolly cool.
11. A pair of fondue mugs for anyone looking to dip their toes into the world of fondue. I personally, would like to dip my whole body into a vat of melted cheese, thank you.
12. A ceramic book vase that can be where the red fern grows.
13. A pack of heart-shaped pimple patches so you can still feel cute, no matter what acne has in store for you.
14. A compact organizer that will keep all your keys in order and keep them from making a racket while rolling around in your bag.
15. A set of adorable cat spoons your mug needs right meow.
16. A pair of panties featuring a heart-shaped window that'll ~mesh~ well with any outfit.
17. A foxy looking wall hook that'll be a clever way to store your best looking kitchen items.
18. A magnetic door stop here to protect your walls and look damn good doing it.
19. A calendar featuring Nature's Dick Pics, pretty much the only version of dick pics you'll ever want sent to you.
20. A set of outlet stickers that turn your boring charger into a cute doggo. How much is that doggy in the outlet? Priceless.
21. A tube of Lucas' Pawpaw Ointment, a legendary Australian lip balm you won't know how you ever lived without.
22. A pickling and fermenting kit for all your kimchi/pickle/sauerkraut needs. Considering how pricey kimchi is, this pretty much pays for itself!
23. A Bobby Hill-approved crossbody purse you're sure to go nuts over.
24. A fun glass bottle that might...actually...keep you hydrated??? Like, how do you not want to use this every second you can?
26. A fun and beautiful board game where you get to achieve your dreams and play as a forest. *wistfully stares out of the window*
27. A heart-shaped sleep mask so you can get your cutie sleep.
28. A pom-pom-topped beanie that comes in a ton of different colors so you can match every coat you own.
29. A coconut lip scrub with jojoba and avocado oil for soft lips, no matter how dry the winter air gets.
30. A pair of blue light-blocking glasses said to help with digital eye strain so work can be less of a headache.
31. A pair of heart-lined stockings for a look that can't be beat.
32. A long-lasting temporary tattoo kit so you can follow along with Ink Master without having to have your own redemption episode.
33. A glittery jelly face mask so you can treat yourself to a Valentine's Day treat. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.
34. Am I Dying? — an endlessly helpful book for the hypochondriac in everyone.
35. A bear-y nice under-eye stick to soothe puffiness and dark circles. If a beauty item isn't shaped like an animal, is it even worth getting?
36. A truly eye-conic wall hook for all your best pieces of eye-catching jewelry.
37. A game of Mario Kart Monopoly for some screenless fun with Mario. Unlike in the video game, you don't have to press ignition a little before GO.
38. A collagen hair treatment to bring your dry hair back to life.
39. A very impractical alphabet book, in case you need to be reminded how annoying the English language can be.
40. A pink corduroy jacket to let everyone know how you feel about Valentine's Day.
41. A bag of Tetris candy so you can really play with your food.
42. And a heart-shaped pet bed for the real love of your life.
Whenever anyone tries to tell me to stop spending money:
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