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    22 Things You 100% Need If You Hate Your Coworkers

    We're looking at you, Janet from HR.

    1. An ostrich pillow for completely tuning out the entire office — and possibly grabbing a nap to recover from everyone's nonsense.

    2. A USB drive you can pop into someone's computer to mess with their keyboard and mouse. That's what you get for leaving a dirty mug in the sink, Jessica!

    3. A set of whiskey glasses for a stiff drink to drown out all your work-related nightmares.

    4. An actual cage to put your lunch in so Carl from accounting doesn't steal your lunch again. Dammit, Carl!

    5. A black pin that sends a message loud and clear: Do not interact with me in any way whatsoever.

    6. Or if you're not into pins, a T-shirt can send a similar message.

    7. A miniature zen garden you can use to relax when stress levels have reached an alarming peak and you can see Carol from marketing on her way over with some more baby pictures.

    8. A set of pens that can be used as utensils so you can eat at your desk because you have no interest in eating in the kitchen with your horrible coworkers.

    9. A "WTF" stamp to angrily slam on memos that make you furious.

    10. Or a notepad that lets you do a quick but detailed follow-up on your bewilderment. Like, what were you even thinking, Greg?

    11. A helpful book you can silently leave on someone's desk if you think they need some pointers.

    12. A mug to sip from while conveying a strong warning about taking the last doughnut.

    13. A pair of classic scalp massagers that are a quick way to relax when things get tense.

    14. A container of coffee-scented therapy dough you can knead to cool down after someone used that nickname you hate again.

    15. An odor-absorbing pouch that will get rid of that fish smell in the kitchen.

    16. A pair of really happy water glasses for staying hydrated and hopefully upbeat.

    17. A personalized desk plate that politely requests people stay the heck away from you.

    18. A pair of noise canceling headphones to drone out Frank, who's telling the same fishing story for the hundredth time. No one believes you caught a marlin, Frank!

    19. A simple mug that's friendly until someone says something stupid and you take a huge swig of coffee.

    20. A flask hidden in a book for extreme emergencies, like Kevin taking credit for your work again.

    21. A tin of tea that will help you calm the fuck down when everyone is going out of their way to bug you.

    22. A sarcastic gold star pin to therapeutically award to a coworker when they don't pull their way on your shared project.

    Soon you'll be as zen as Stanley.