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1. A sticker that tells people — in no uncertain terms — where to go. Away!!!!
2. A "boyfriend" body pillow you can snuggle up with without worrying about pillow talk.
3. A baseball cap that will act as your personal bodyguard.
4. An anti-social butterfly pin so you can really spread your wings — and fly the heck away.
5. A pair of noise-cancelling headphones so you can tune out everyone and everything. Oh sorry, Bridget, I would love to hear about your new keto diet but I am simply unable.
6. A party banner that says "welcome, but please do not linger."
7. An organ transplant lunch bag sure to keep anyone from asking to join you at lunch.
8. An unofficial Harry Potter insult handbook filled with comebacks snappy enough to even make a Slytherin flinch.
9. A Bob's Burgers doormat that might just insult guests enough to make them turn around and go.
10. A pillow and pillow case stating the honest to dog truth.
11. A letter board that does the talking for you. BRB I'm going to assemble the message: "talking? no thank you!!!!!"
12. A pair of silicone ear plugs to block out all the chatter buzzing around you.
13. A tiny violin you can ironically play until whoever is venting to you gets the idea and lays off.
14. A cozy sweatshirt featuring Edgar Allen Poe that lets everyone know you'd rather be alone, yelling at a raven.
15. A helpful delivery sign sure to help you avoid answering the door at least a few times.
16. A do not disturb hanging sign that doubles as a bottle opener. Gotta love a multi-tasking product that helps you live your best solitary life.
17. A tent-like canopy ideal for dorm-dwellers who would like to at least pretend they scored a single bedroom.
18. Kinda rude sponges that'll tell people to clean their dishes so you don't have to.
19. A dishwasher magnet so you always know whether the dishes are clean or dirty. No more frantic group chats with all your roommates to get to the bottom of the Daily Mystery.
20. A creepy BuzzFeed Good Advice Cupcake tee that will hopefully take care of any would-be chatterboxes.
21. A handy notepad formatted to help you get through all your frustrations without ever having to utter a word.
22. A keychain that tells it like it is: I am only interested in food babies at this time, thank you.
23. Winc — a subscription service that mails bottles of tasty wine right to your doorstep. Why talk to anyone at a bar or liquor store when you...don't have to?
24. And a bathtub wine cupholder so you can take your glass of vino into the bathroom with you and lock the door.
25. A pair of sassy socks that offers up a scathing one-liner to anyone who dares get close enough to read them.
The forever mood:
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