46 Things To Put In Your Own Stocking Because, Duh, You Deserve It
If you want a stocking done right, you gotta do it yourself.
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1. An unnerving (but hilarious) keychain featuring Dwight wearing the CPR dummy's face. Still easily one of the best, most chaotic scenes in television!
2. A gemstone sensor night-light with a long-lasting LED bulb offering a comforting glow whenever you pass it by. *imagines filling a hallway with them so it feels like walking through a magical crystal cavern*
7. A Black History tote bag so you can celebrate Black History Month every month. The bag features a Civil Rights-inspired button design, including the faces and words of icons like Martin Luther King Jr., Angela Davis, Malcolm X, and more.
8. A sweet lil' holiday cat timer to help you in the kitchen when it's time to make deviled eggs or roast veggies. It can keep time for up to 60 minutes!
10. A pet moss ball that comes with a teeny-tiny cowboy hat, because accessorizing is so important. OK, let's get it out of our system: Yeehaw!
11. A blackhead remover kit so you can feel like Dr. Pimple Popper as you *carefully* take care of a few zits.
12. A mug featuring the Seinfeld characters in the iconic parking lot episode. Honestly, I'm stressed out just looking at it but maybe you need some hectic energy in your mornings?
14. A bottle of Mike's Hot honey that seriously tastes good on everything. Pizza, wings, veggies, dumplings, salad, cocktails, ice cream, everything!
15. A fuzzy cat hat to turn your pet into a sweet lil' bunny. This is gonna be great blackmail material. "Scratch the couch again and I'll show everyone your bunny ears on Snapcat!"
16. A 5-in-1 wine stopper capable of elevating your $5 bottle of wine into something...drinkable. It's also an aerator, stopper, pourer, filter, and re-corker.
17. And a pack of wine condoms to ~safely~ store your bottle of wine on the off chance you don't finish it. These fit right over the neck of the bottle and allow you to store the open bottle on its side.
20. A pair of custom socks featuring the face of the one you love most in the world. Sorry mom, but Fido just has the cutest mug in the world.
22. Mented Gloss, because who doesn't love a good lip gloss? The buildable color means you can go from subtle or eye-popping, depending on your mood.
23. A nifty spout that creates little Mickey Mouse soap dollops. Just attach to your favorite foaming soap bottle and bam! You're basically in Disneyland.
27. A kitchen knife sharpener so you can get your blades in working condition before the holidays hit and you need to start slicing and dicing for that family feast.
28. A Venus bust candle for anyone who wants to feel like they live in a (flammable) museum...or are just still into the vaporwave trend.
29. An at-home teeth whitening kit that's a heck of a lot cheaper (and less painful!) than a trip to the dentist. This set comes with a custom fit tray and an LED so you can relax at home while your teeth begin to sparkle. With consistent use, you can expect a set of pearly whites that are two to eight shades whiter than before.
31. A roll-on migraine stick offering some relief when your seasonal headaches begin, whether they're induced by in-law drama or pets knocking the ornaments off the tree.
33. Teeny-tiny hanging pots so even the smallest places can have some greenery. Maybe not in your car windshield like this picture shows, but somewhere...safe.
35. A hair finishing stick that will take all those stray strands of hair popping out of your bun and lay them flat. It's basically like a mascara wand coated in natural plant oils for your hair.
36. Or Mielle Organics edge control gel for anyone who is looking for more than a smoothing oil to achieve a sleek look when they want it. This smaller size is perfect for the stocking and after-holiday travel.
37. A pair of flip-up sunglasses so you can dramatically lift them when you see something really cool, like a reindeer with a glowing nose.
38. A silk pillowcase that's gentle on hair and cuts down on bedhead woes. Now you can really say "I woke up like this."
39. A pair of Santa boxers so you can have multiple layers of holiday cheer. Best of all, there are three skin tones to choose from!
40. Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza — a card game delivering a heavy dose of high-energy, adorably illustrated fun right when you need it.
Here's how to play: You deal all the cards out to your two to four players, and everyone keeps their mini-deck face down. Everyone takes a turn putting a card down in the middle of the table, saying one of the words "taco," "cat," "goat," "cheese," and "pizza," in that order. If the picture on your card matches the word that's said, everyone slaps their hand on the card in a pile as quickly as possible. The last person on the pile has to take the stack and add them to their cards, and whoever runs out of cards first wins!
Promising review: "Ridiculous in a good way! I was skeptical about how much I may enjoy this game being in my mid-thirties. But it's a lot of fun! Easy to learn, easy to play, my 8-year-old has lots of fun with it. Its a great family game with the potential to be a late-night more adult-oriented event if you’re picking up what I'm throwing down. Cheers!" —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $9.97.