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    37 Products You'll Love If You're A Complete And Total Weirdo

    In a good way, of course. (Updated on March 5, 2018.)

    Alida Barden / Buzzfeed

    We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page.

    1. A beady-eyed bank who'll eat all your spare change.

    amazon.com

    Try not to make eye contact with it.

    Get it on Amazon for $18.

    2. A crying unicorn candle holder for some pretty (but macabre) ambience.

    awin1.com

    Enjoy watching those rainbow tears fall, you sicko.

    Get it on Firebox for $26.

    3. A magical coloring book filled with flatulent animals.

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Thankfully, this book is not a scratch-n-sniff.

    Get it on Amazon for $5.39.

    4. A corgi butt to keep all your change in.

    amazon.com

    Hmm.

    Get it on Amazon for $5.99.

    5. A Jeff Goldblum shower curtain so you'll always have someone watching you as you bathe.

    amazon.com

    ;)

    Get it on Amazon for $19.50.

    6. An extremely helpful guide for making crafts with your cat's leftover hair, since there seems to be an endless supply of it.

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Make a whole second cat!

    Get it on Amazon for $10.60.

    7. A plush stomach because you can't hug your own.

    etsy.com

    Get it from Plusheez on Etsy for $30.54.

    8. A toilet mug that requires a very strong stomach if you plan on drinking coffee out of it.

    amazon.com

    Don't even talk to me until I've had my morning toilet water.

    Get it on Amazon for $12.99.

    9. A wall decal featuring a stock photo model using her inhaler.

    amazon.com

    Be responsible and display health safety in your home.

    Get it on Amazon for $25.09.

    10. A set of chewed-gum magnets that work just as well as the real thing.

    amazon.com

    Get it on Amazon for $7.50.

    11. A set of specimen coasters showing the brain cut into sections.

    amazon.com

    Perfect for doctors, or people who just really like looking at sliced up brain.

    Get it on Amazon for $22.90.

    12. A set of mini hands for your fingers so you can always lend a hand.

    amazon.com, Twitter: @flexanie

    Thing of the possibilities (like amazing Twitter jokes).

    Get 10 on Amazon for $9.99.

    13. A delicate ring with an actual tooth in it.

    etsy.com

    In case you're looking for a non-diamond engagement ring.

    Get it from Bloody Woods on Etsy for $41.09.

    14. An adorable blobfish plushie you might be more inclined to snuggle than the real slimeball it's based on.

    amazon.com

    Get it from Amazon for $44.99.

    15. An eyeball ring that gives off some serious Clockwork Orange vibes.

    amazon.com

    Perfect for wearing while swigging some milk.

    Get it on Amazon for $2.30.

    16. Creepy spins on garden gnomes, so the rest of your lawn ornaments know to stay in line.

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Your pink flamingos are never going to act up again.

    Get the zombie for $59.89 or the butcher for $18.99 on Amazon.

    17. A horse pillow case for willingly re-creating the iconic Godfather scene every morning.

    amazon.com

    Easier and cheaper than pissing off the mob.

    Get it on Amazon for $5.17.

    18. A French fry purse you can hold your actual fries in.

    amazon.com

    Always have food on hand. Always.

    Get it on Amazon for $9.99.

    19. Gigantic pairs of googly eyes so you can turn your furniture into friends, Pee-wee Herman style.

    amazon.com

    Get some on Amazon for $6.49.

    20. A fish pouch perfect for keeping your belongings handy.

    amazon.com

    And it won't make your pens smell fishy.

    Get it on Amazon for $3.34.

    21. An eggy stress ball that pukes goo when you squeeze it.

    amazon.com

    Are you OK, Gudetama???

    Get it on Amazon for $8.99.

    22. A sushi bazooka for blasting everyone away with your amazing food skills.

    amazon.com

    Get it on Amazon for $12.76.

    23. A nose-shaped pencil sharpener because your actual nose won't sharpen anything.

    amazon.com

    Noses — what are they even good for?

    Get it on Amazon for $3.75.

    24. A classy poop emoji shirt so you can be subtly weird but still hold down an office job.

    betabrand.com

    Get it on sale on Betabrand for $68 (also available in dress form for $98).

    25. A container of unicorn snot for rubbing glittery boogers all over your body.

    awin1.com

    Sexy.

    Get it on Amazon for $9.99 or for $13 on Firebox (available in five colors).

    26. A bow tie collar so you can go on a romantic dinner date with your dog.

    amazon.com

    You can finally try that spaghetti move from Lady and the Tramp.

    Get it on Amazon for $5.99.

    27. A collection of dog butt magnets for proudly displaying on your fridge, locker, or fire hydrant.

    worldmarket.com

    Get six on Amazon for $12.99 or World Market for $12.99.

    28. An entire calendar dedicated to everyone's favorite topic: goats in trees.

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Someone's going to have to call the fire department to get them down.

    Get it on Amazon for $13.30.

    29. A guillotine necklace for French revolutionaries.

    etsy.com

    Vive la révolution!

    Get it from MaydayByIda on Etsy for $125.

    30. A set of barrettes with little sprouts on them so you can pretend to be a little forest nymph.

    amazon.com

    Add some extra life to your hair.

    Get it on Amazon for $2.48.

    31. A throw pillow that looks like a fillet of raw fish to make up for all those times you wanted to crawl behind the seafood counter and take a nap.

    amazon.com

    Sleep with the fish pillows.

    Get it on Amazon for $8.95.

    32. A pizza nightlight so you can have sweet, cheesey dreams.

    amazon.com

    It works as a friendly reminder to monsters that there are other food options besides children.

    Get it on Amazon for $12.95.

    33. A scary Halloween mask for taking a cute, wholesome animal and making it TERRIFYING.

    amazon.com

    We'll never look at pugs the same again.

    Get it on Amazon for $18.81+.

    34. A tortilla blanket that will let you achieve your dreams of becoming a gigantic burrito.

    amazon.com

    The guac pillow is extra.

    Get it on Amazon for $39.95.

    35. A tube of pickle lip balm for the sensation of kissing a pickle.

    amazon.com

    Dill-flavored kisses for everyone.

    Get it from thecharmingfrog on Etsy for $3.75.

    36. A kitchen steamer that looks like a pig puddle.

    amazon.com

    When a lid won't do, there's this weird melted pig snout.

    Get it on Amazon for $13.48.

    37. And a stuffed giant isopod for people who love falling asleep next to a creepy, crawly sea bug.

    amazon.com

    Cute?

    Get it on Amazon for $18.79.

    Stay weird, my friends.

    NBC

    Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides here!

    Ryan Pattie/BuzzFeed

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