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1. A pair of blobfish slippers that are decidedly less sticky-looking than the real thing.
Get them from Amazon for $29.99.
2. A ssssssweet snake lamp so precious, not even Indiana Jones would be scared of it.
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $99.
3. A pair of cicada earrings you can practically HEAR.
Ahh, the sound of summer: Millions of bugs screeching.
Get them from ModCloth for $29.
4. A mouse ring that represents our constant struggle — chasin' that cheese.
Gotta make that bread! To go with this nice cheese I have.
Get it from Amazon for $9.50 (also available in the 11 other zodiac animals).
5. A nice lil' goblin shark plush so adorable, you'll almost forget how scary the real thing is. Wooooof.
Not familiar with these demon sharks? Watch this at your own risk.
Get it from Amazon for $14.99.
6. A stag beetle tote bag with a lot of love to give and a lot of space for all your stuff!
7. A pair of raccoon undies — could there possibly be a cuter pair of briefs? I'm all ears.
Get them from Amazon for $8.85+ (available in sizes S–L and 17 other animals).
8. A darling spider magnet that is somehow aww-worthy instead of ahhh!-worthy.
Get it from ThePipsqueakery on Etsy for $5.
9. An axolotl sticker I think you'll like a lotl.
Get it from Amazon for $3.50.
10. A mouse moth keychain with a precious heart-shaped loop and pink tassel.
Get it from MinnowAndMoss on Etsy for $15.
11. A pair of waterbear or blobfish socks you'll get along ~swimmingly~ with.
Get the water bear or blobfish socks from Amazon for $11.99.
12. A striped boatneck shirt with a tiny raccoon buddy right in the pocket. Look at those lil' grabby paws!
Get it from ModCloth for $39 (available in sizes 6–18).
13. A big ole' sea bug (giant isopod) plush toy ready for cuddles.
14. An anglerfish kigurumi that, hello, LIGHTS UP?! Time to go find Dory and Marlin and try to eat them. >:3
Get it from ThinkGeek for $49.99.
15. A snake cuff so you can feel like Medusa on the reg.
Get it from Amazon for $8.99+ (available in two colors).
16. A sweetie pie bat enamel pin with a third eye probably used to see cuteness in a whole other dimension.
Get it from taigaandmako on Etsy for $12.
17. A bat-shaped sleep mask for vigilantes and people who would just enjoy a face hug from a bat.
Get it from Amazon for $12.99.
18. A wooden stamp that looks an awful lot like a pigeon I got into a sidewalk shuffle with this morning.
Get it from MaluStudio on Etsy for $4.71.
19. A devilishly handsome sweater you'll want to wear to your dark baptism.
You can also get this design on a onesie, tee, hoodie, baseball tee, V-neck tee, or tank top.
Get it from Human for $29.99 (available in sizes XS–3XL and seven colors).
20. A snake ear cuff for recreating an Eve and the apple situation. What's this long boi whispering to you?
Get it from Amazon for $1.93.
21. An adjustable octopus ring that has me ~kraken~ open my piggy bank.
Get it from Amazon for $9.88.
22. An opossum temp tat to rock while considering getting a real tattoo of the cutie pie who lives in your backyard.
Get it from NatureTats on Etsy for $5.
23. A friendly octopus that will hold all your shower items. Who knew cephalopod bathroom butlers were a thing?
Get it from Amazon for $32.95+ (available in four colors).
24. A porcelain rat necklace so squeaking cute, you'll feel really fur-tunate to have.
Get it from CampHollow on Etsy for $20 (available in three chain finishes).
25. A raccoon mug that just, like, really gets you, you know?
Get it from Amazon for $11.99.
26. A cool snake light pretty enough to slither into my home any time it wants.
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $34.
27. And a wooden opossum brooch sure to make even the grouchiest vermin-hater smile.
Raccoons make for great friends, probably.
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Keep on shopping, friends!
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