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1. A pack of instant mushroom coffee (yes with real mushrooms!) for people looking to stay awake, but without the jitters that commonly come with traditional coffee.
2. A metal tin with a pair of instant undies, in case of emergencies.
3. A pair of grass-topped flip flops for people who like to feel the grass between their toes, even if they're walking through a gross bathroom.
4. Evian-themed slime that'll be refreshing to look at and rewarding to play with.
5. A spider ice mold so you can make iced treats really worth screaming about.
6. A variety pack of soda for anyone who just really needs to know what buffalo wing-flavored pop tastes like.
7. A pack of dick-shaped lipsticks that'll make you look so good, you might get cocky.
8. A Mac-inspired candle so you can feel like you're in an Apple store without even having to book an appointment at the Genius Bar.
9. A "nice butt" plaque to put above the toilet so your guests know that your toilet loves a round thing in its face.
10. And if you're committed to making your guests' bathroom visit as uncomfortable as possible, a sloth shower curtain that will hit on them.
11. A tube of Unicorn Snort glitter sunscreen so you can shimmer without simmering in the heat.
12. A pair of Pikachu panties that are just as shocked looking as you are.
13. A deodorant that smells like freshly minted money so you can feel like a million bucks every day.
14. A quote book with secret messages that only become legible when you cover the page with the clear blue jacket.
15. A box of anus-shaped chocolate so you can finally tell your loved one that you care about them, no butts about it.
16. A splashy spoon rest for aggressive cooks who want their kitchen to look like a crime scene.
17. Jizz the Game — a game everyone will be pumped to play.
18. A rollercoaster straw kit for people who think crazy straws simply aren't crazy enough.
19. Just a big ass ball to intimidate the other beachgoers.
20. A brick set so you can build your own...*checks notes* bear peeing into a urinal.
21. Draw a Dick On It — a drawing game that lets you and your friends compete to draw the best pricks on unsuspecting snowmen, sandwiches, trees, and more.
22. A leash with a built-in umbrella for the pampered pet who refuses to get their freshly groomed 'do wet.
23. A reversible sequin pillow case that reveals Nic Cage's face when you pet it. If this isn't a national treasure, nothing is.
24. A Cup of Noodles hamster hut so your furry friend can go through a similar college phase.
25. A banana hub sure to be a-peel-ing to anyone with limited USB ports.
26. A bag of cat farts (cotton candy) for a purrfectly hilarious snack.
27. A dope soap on a rope to take showering to higher and higher heights.
28. A tortilla blanket for anyone who would like to be as warm and snuggly as a burrito.
29. A fearsome lawn statue to let everyone know what you think of lawn gnomes.
30. A Deadpool mousepad that's strangely practical because it offers the breast wrist support.
31. And a shrimp-shaped neck pillow, because why the heck not.
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