1. The lead singer in the band. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed Just because he has long hair and sings about love doesn't mean he's not one of the world's most relentless players. He’s like a groupie processing plant. Probably has syphilis, and doesn't even mind because it makes him feel connected to Lord Byron. 2. The Tinder sleaze. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed Just a string of repellent messages, and if you're really unlucky one extremely short, gropey date. 3. The friend with "benefits". Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed “Let’s not put a label on it”, he says, kissing your stomach, and heading south. Translation: I’m living like a polyamorous medieval king with zero responsibility, and I like it that way. 4. The utterly shameless, doesn’t-care-who-knows-it player. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed He's gorgeous, and he knows it. He ploughs through women like a combine harvester. For some messed-up reason there’s a little bit of your brain saying, You can change him. But of course you can’t. OF COURSE you can’t. 5. The sensitive writer. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed He lends you his favourite book, he’s smart, he's thoughtful. He writes you a poem. Oh, and he’s sexting another girl the whole time. 6. The squirty, dorky guy you got with because you thought he’d be a good person, and WTF? Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed He tricked you with his nice guy demeanor. 7. The ladeez man in disguise. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed He was genuinely upset when Hillary lost the election, and made a big thing about going on the women’s march. One small thing, though… He's got a new girlfriend, and his old girlfriend's the last to know. 8. "The dog ate my homework” turd. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed "Sorry, babe, I was at my mum's," "I had to work last minute," etc., etc. He's got 1,001 excuses for why he keeps letting you down, and unfortunately none of them are the truth: that he's a player of the highest order.