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    Mar 23, 2017

    61 Cringe Thoughts You Have While Getting A Bikini Wax

    "Have they ripped off my skin?"

    Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

    1. Why am I doing this?

    2. I shouldn’t do this, my pubes are beautiful.

    3. I should flaunt them proudly from the edges of my swimsuit.

    4. I should, but I don’t want to.

    5. I wish I was a proud pube bearer, I profoundly admire and respect women with proud pubes.

    6. But I am too scared

    7. Why are my palms sweating? I’ve been waxed before.

    8. True, it was the worst pain I have ever known, but I survived.

    9. Fuck, it’s not childbirth, or medieval limb amputation. Humans have been through worse.

    10. I should be strong.

    11. I am strong.

    12. The waxer is very beautiful.

    13. She has hardly any eyebrows, but then I guess she hates body hair.

    14. I wonder if she waxes her own bikini line, or whether the waxers at the salon all wax each other?

    15. That would be an awkward thing to do to your colleague.

    16. *Stops imagining having to wax my colleagues*

    17. *Shudders*

    Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

    18. *Starts undressing*

    19. Oh fuck! I forgot to wax.

    20. Hahaha! Shame is such an instinctive reflex for me! Fuck the world.

    21. Damn, I should’ve worn worse pants. These will be ruined by the wax.

    22. Oh no, she wants me to describe the areas I want waxed. I don't want to talk about my pubes with a stranger while we both look at my pubes.

    23. Mmm, hot wax feels good down there. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

    24. HOLYFUCKHSJDfds@L??!DSJFAS!!sfjMFNKSEMREWlkf23i

    25. WAAAAAAAAAAH.

    26. I HATE PATRIARCHS. I HATE SOCIETY. I HATE BIKINIS. I HATE WOMEN. I HATE BEAUTY. I HATE EVERYTHING.

    27. Oh my god, she’s hardly got any hairs out. Oh god, I don’t want to go through with this.

    28. But there is literally no other way to get that fucking hot wax off now.


    29. Oh god, she’s laying on the next strip.

    Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

    30. That’s nice. It’s nice when her delicate, manicured hands press down the wax strip.

    31. This is fine, I’ll just leave now, like this.

    32. Covered in hot wax, with a hot wax strip hanging from my pubic region.

    33. I could survive like this.

    34. Eventually my skin will shed and the wax will fade.

    35. HOLYFUCKHSJDfds@L??!DSJFAS!!sfjMFNKSEMREWlkf23i

    36. Ohmygod, am I bleeding?

    37. I must be bleeding after that.

    38. Has she ripped off my skin?

    39. This is the worst, I’m never doing this again.

    40. It’s so hot in here. I'm sweating. Oh god.

    41. Just focus on something else.

    42. Imagine lying on a nice beach in the sunshine.

    Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

    43. There’s no such thing as pain.

    44. There’s no such thing as pain.

    45. There’s no such thing as pain.

    46. HOLYFUCKHSJDfds@L??!DSJFAS!!sfjMFNKSEMREWlkf23i

    47. Please stop now.

    48. You want my legs in what position? No, I can't do that.

    49. I guess I'm doing that

    50. HOLYFUCKHSJDfds@L??!DSJFAS!!sfjMFNKSEMREWlkf23i

    51. Oh my god, she is parting my bum cheeks and spreading hot wax on my crack. I didn't sign up for this.

    52. Please stop now.

    53. HOLYFUCKHSJDfds@L??!DSJFAS!!sfjMFNKSEMREWlkf23i


    54. Help me.

    55. Oh thank god, it’s over. The sweet, sweet cooling balm of antiseptic wipes.

    56. Ugh, no, I don't want to discuss my weekend plans with you, evil waxing lady. Stop acting like everything's OK between us.

    57. Jesus, my voice is shaking.

    58. God it’s so red and plucked and horrid down there.

    59. Wow, look at what I'm doing.

    60. I’m handing over cold hard cash to a company who just tortured me.

    61. What is life.

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