1.Sleeping is one of your favourite things to do in the world, and you need to do a lot of it.
2.But sadly the world is not designed for people like you.
3.The scientists need to run their tests again: Eight hours' sleep isn't enough. You need at least nine hours to be a happily functioning human.
4.If you don’t enough get sleep, bad things happen.
5.You can just about survive on eight hours' sleep, but it's not ideal.
6.Seven hours leaves you unpleasantly dazed and confused.
7.Less than seven hours and you feel raw, like your skin's been peeled off.
8.Your ideal sleep pattern is midnight-9am – or 1am-10am if you're feeling wild.
9.But the world says "NO, you must be in work or school for 9am!" And so you are always sleep-deprived.
10.You’ve tried going to bed earlier, but there's just too much good TV and internet.
11.You don’t understand why the working day can’t just be 10am-5pm. Then everyone would be happy.
12.Weekends are amazing because you can revert to your natural state.
13.Although when your alarm goes off at 7am on Monday you have hideous social jet lag.
14.You hate getting early flights – waking up at 5am totally spoils the first day of the holiday.
15.If you get less than nine hours' sleep, you'll need to sneak off for a nap at about 3:31pm.
16.Of course if you work, you can't really do that.
17.Although the office toilets are a good call if you're desperate.
18.You don't enjoy hearing successful people boast about how they wake up at 4am to work out or write their novel.
19.Although you're increasingly convinced that the secret to becoming super powerful and successful is only needing a few hours' sleep.
20.Because people who need nine hours' sleep have less time each day to achieve things. For this reason you will probably never be super powerful and successful.
21.Except when it comes to napping. You're one of the most powerful and successful nappers you know.
