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24 Things That Are Too Real If You Were A Really Bad Waiter

Shit. I dropped a fish in her handbag.

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1. Life was fucking tough for you as a crap waiter.

2. There were so many things you were bad at. Like all the standing.

You were absolutely dreadful at standing, which was unfortunate because waiters have to stand all day long.
Thinkstock

You were absolutely dreadful at standing, which was unfortunate because waiters have to stand all day long.

3. Sometimes the standing would get so exhausting you'd have to hide in the toilet to rest your legs and back.

This is the point when you might wonder WTF you're doing being a waiter – you're just so bad at it.
Deedle-Dee Productions

This is the point when you might wonder WTF you're doing being a waiter – you're just so bad at it.

4. The smokers got to take breaks in the alley outside, but if you tried to join them, you'd be bollocked for slacking off.

Prettybird

How come only smokers are allowed to take breaks???

5. Being a waiter required lots of skills you sadly didn't have, like balancing things on top of each other and walking with grace.

DIC Entertainment

6. Your special skill – being clumsy AF – wasn't quite so helpful.

Channel 4

So many broken glasses.

7. You spent your whole time at work being fucking terrified of dropping something.

Netflix

8. And to be fair, you probably did drop things. A lot.

giphy.com

Let's never speak of the incident with the fish in the handbag again.

9. Another problem for you was your love of food...which seems like it should be a good thing for a waiter.

10. But instead meant you were in constant torment about handing over delicious meals to strangers.

yummymummyclub.ca

This lack of enthusiasm for the job really began to show.

11. Taking away an uneaten plate of food was devastating to you.

BuzzFeed / Twitter: @SJGreg_07

12. So sometimes, instead of scraping the leftovers into the bin, you ate some of them instead.

giphy.com

And then the chefs yelled at you. OK, it was disgusting – BUT SO IS FOOD WASTE.

13. Since maths was never your strong point, being asked to help a table split their bill was a nightmare.

youtube.com

You probably lost the restaurant a lot of money with your terrible counting.

14. You were expected to wear your best smile at all times in the job.

20th Century Fox

Which didn't come naturally, tbh.

15. In fact, some days you just couldn't conceal your disdain for all human beings – especially the customers.

CBS

16. There were other issues. Waiters need to be fast.

Warner Bros

17. But you were slooooooooowwwwww.

20th Century Fox

18. Plus you need a great memory to deal with all the different orders – something you were sorely lacking.

TV Peru

19. Which led to a lot of angry customers complaining that they didn’t have water, or food, or happiness.

The Archie Company

20. There was also the issue of the horrible, grumpy chef who took a big disliking to you for no reason.

Disney

OK, maybe it was because you kept forgetting everything, but there's no need to be mean about it.

21. The restaurant was an incredibly stressful environment that, again, just didn't really suit you.

Adult Swim

You know what they say: If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

22. From the beginning to the end of your shift there, like, was zero chill time.

Screen Gems

Another fucking table, another 10 plates to carry out: It never, ever seemed to end.

23. Nope, being a waiter just wasn't really for you.

ABC

24. You're more of an office chair kinda person if you're honest.