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9 Slightly Odd Things All British People Do

We'll never tell the hairdresser we hate our new haircut.

1. Ending a phone call to the gas people / broadband people / tax person / doctor / council / funeral director with these three exact words:

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Always those three words, it's uncontrollable, it's in your DNA.

2. Genuinely falling out with someone over a biscuit*.

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*It's definitely a biscuit

3. Apologising when someone bashes into you in the street.

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But calling them a bastard silently in your head.

4. Apologising when your food is bad in a restaurant.

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And feeling incredibly paranoid that the waiter hates you.

5. Taking a weird pride in queuing.

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If someone tries to push in you will destroy them with an evil stare; if someone stands nearby but not in the queue, you will destroy them with an evil stare.

6. Saying the opposite of what you mean to avoid awkwardness.

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And still tipping because you don't want to seem rude.

7. Compulsively mentioning the weather at every given opportunity, then feeling ashamed for being such a cliché.

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Why are we all like this???

8. Cultivating a large, quite ugly, but extremely precious mismatched mug collection.

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One of the mugs is "yours" and no one else must use it.

9. And swearing at someone you love to show your affection.

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We don't do sentimental and earnest that well, but we swear like bloody troopers.

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