Buzz·Posted on Mar 1, 2016Sex In The Movies Vs In Real LifeGonorrhoea doesn't exist in the movies. (Warning: images of censored toon sex.)by Becky BarnicoatBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. There's no need to actually be naked to have sex in the movies. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF New Regency Pictures Bras and pants may remain on in movie sex. Scientists believe this is because movie underwear is made of a special membrane, a bit like Gortex, which lets penises in but keeps rain out. IRL: Underwear can form a barrier to sex. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed Attempting penetrative intercourse through pants will lead to disappointment and/or chafing. 2. No one wears a condom in the movies. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Carousel Productions So boring, pointless, and unsexy. IRL: gonorrhoea. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed 3. Penetration happens immediately in movie sex. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Paramount Classics There's no faffing about. As soon as sex begins, the man penetrates the woman with the nonchalance of someone poking his finger into a Nutella jar. Rather than grimacing in pain, the woman will immediately come. IRL: Women are not “just always ready” for a penis. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed Women are not Nutella jars. Most men attempting to immediately stick it in will be met with a barrier of uncomfortable resistance. Touching and kissing were invented to solve this problem. 4. Movie women make constant orgasm noises during sex. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Castle Rock Entertainment All women in the movies make constant pleasure sounds during sex, gasping over and over again as if they are orgasming the whole way through. IRL: Women do not have constant, immediate orgasms. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed You may find the woman doesn't go "uh, uh, uh, uh, uh" the whole way through sex. This does not automatically mean she is dead or asleep. 5. All movie people have super-sexy underwear. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Paramount Pictures What's Natalie Portman got under her scruffy old vest? Why, a hot-as-you-like lacy bra, of course, to guarantee maximum sauciness during any unexpected sex encounters. IRL: old underwear. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed Look, you'll both be naked soon so don't get weird if your partner wears gross, old underwear that Natalie Portman wouldn't be seen dead in. 6. Getting undressed is simple and sexy in the movies. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Paramount White shirt with fiddly buttons? No problem for nimble-fingered movie ladies! Look how she throws her head back with sexy glee at how easy she finds this. IRL: lots of awkward stumbling about. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed Armholes, buttons, zips, trouser legs – these things pose a very real challenge to the sexiness of a real-life romantic encounter. Can falling over ever be attractive? You'll find out soon enough. 7. Water sex. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Mandalay Entertainment Movies people have sex in the water ALL THE TIME. Public swimming pools, the sea, the shower – you name it. Water sex is some of the sexiest sex available to movies people. IRL: verruca plasters. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed Public swimming pool sex is illegal and only recommended for people with a love of wet hair, prison, and floating plasters. Sea sex poses problems IRL due to sand, stones, urchins, jellyfish, nearby children, and arrest for indecent exposure. 8. Walking-around sex. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Donners' Company In the movies, the penis is as strong as a wrestler’s arm. It is easy, and in fact quite relaxing, for a man to stride around a room with a woman perched on his penis, having sex while ramming into walls. IRL: penile fractures Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed They are a thing.