1. Combing the cradle cap flakes off your baby's scalp. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed The cradle cap comes away like greasy cornflakes. It's so gross it gives you goosebumps – but sort of in a good way? Cradle cap is one of those things which is very gross on someone else's baby, but sort of intriguing on your own. 2. Closely examining your baby's poo. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed The colour, the smell, the consistency – gazing into your baby's faeces is unexpectedly fascinating. 3. Wiping and scraping other goopy, flakey things off your baby’s body. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed Eye gunk, bogeys, ear wax, that crusty stuff behind their ears – you get a secret, weird enjoyment from removing it. 4. Hand-pumping your boobs in a scuzzy public toilet cubicle. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed Look, breastfeeding and pumping are in no way gross: they are beautiful and amazing. But being forced to pump in a public toilet because of the lack of breastfeeding facilities isn't the most glam moment of motherhood. 5. Rubbing lanolin on your raw, chafed nipples 1000 times a day. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed That stuff (which, btw, is wax secreted from the sebaceous glands of wool-bearing mammals) is magic, godammit. 6. Clearing a blocked milk duct in your boob. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed Techniques range from massaging the lumpy boob in a hot shower, to enlisting your partner to help squeeze it out. 7. Sucking your baby's snot out of their nose… with your mouth. Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed When your baby can’t breathe you take whatever measures necessary. Love makes these tasks possible, and love makes them worth it too.