1. Falmouth in Cornwall isn't a pretty place at all.
2. It doesn't have a beautiful waterfront.
3. There's this castle built by Henry VIII, but who cares about that?
4. It's not like it looks dramatic in the dawn light or anything.
5. Falmouth has the third-deepest harbour in the world, and every year dozens of tall ships gather there.
6. But how impressive is that really?
7. The town itself is pretty blah.
8. The buildings are humdrum.
9. They haven't really nailed that quaint seaside vibe at all.
10. The architecture's boring.
11. Jesus, look at it. What a bland place.
12. There's never anything interesting down its higgledy-piggledy alleyways.
13. It's got this pub with a bookshop inside it...but that's not cool at all.
14. No, that concept really doesn't appeal.
15. Definitely best to steer clear of somewhere like that.
16. Falmouth is SO BORING. It's not jam-packed full of cool shops.
17. There's nowhere to buy good clothes.
18. There's a ton of little vintage shops, but who wants vintage shops?
19. Oh, and all the antique furniture shops. Fine, I suppose, if you're into that sort of thing.
20. Nope, there's no lovely shops in Falmouth at all.
22. None. At. All.
24. Even the hairdressers are run-of-the-mill.
25. And we haven't even started on what happens if you get hungry.
26. There are zero places to have a lovely lunch.
27. You'll have to starve.
28. It's a wasteland.
29. Seriously, I hope you don't like eating, because there's nothing good there.
The Meat Counter.