1. Falmouth in Cornwall isn't a pretty place at all.

2. It doesn't have a beautiful waterfront.

3. There's this castle built by Henry VIII, but who cares about that?

4. It's not like it looks dramatic in the dawn light or anything.

5. Falmouth has the third-deepest harbour in the world, and every year dozens of tall ships gather there.

6. But how impressive is that really?

7. The town itself is pretty blah.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
8. The buildings are humdrum.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
9. They haven't really nailed that quaint seaside vibe at all.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
10. The architecture's boring.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
St George's Arcade, Church Street, Falmouth.
11. Jesus, look at it. What a bland place.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
12. There's never anything interesting down its higgledy-piggledy alleyways.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
13. It's got this pub with a bookshop inside it...but that's not cool at all.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Beerwolf Books, 3 Bells Court.
14. No, that concept really doesn't appeal.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Beerwolf Books.
15. Definitely best to steer clear of somewhere like that.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
16. Falmouth is SO BORING. It's not jam-packed full of cool shops.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Sounds OK record shop, 43 Arwenack Street, Falmouth.
17. There's nowhere to buy good clothes.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Wild Pony vintage, 19 Arwenack St.
18. There's a ton of little vintage shops, but who wants vintage shops?

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
The Little Vintage Warehouse, 34 High Street.
19. Oh, and all the antique furniture shops. Fine, I suppose, if you're into that sort of thing.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
The Little Vintage Warehouse.
20. Nope, there's no lovely shops in Falmouth at all.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Old Brewery Yard, High Street.
21. None.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Old Brewery Yard.
22. None. At. All.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Jam Records, 32 High Street.
23. Nada.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Jam Records.
24. Even the hairdressers are run-of-the-mill.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Blackdog Haircutters, 42 Church St.
25. And we haven't even started on what happens if you get hungry.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
26. There are zero places to have a lovely lunch.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Dolly's Tea Room & Wine Bar, 21 High Street.
27. You'll have to starve.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Dolly's Tea Room & Wine Bar.
28. It's a wasteland.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
The Meat Counter, 25 Arwenack Street.
29. Seriously, I hope you don't like eating, because there's nothing good there.
The Meat Counter.
30. It's a culinary desert.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
31. And there's literally nowhere to grab a nice cold beer.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Hand bar, Old Brewery Yard, High Street.
32. All the bars in Falmouth have been spoilt by artists who studied at the art school.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Hand.
33. You're miles from anywhere, so don't expect a good selection of beers.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Hand.
34. And what's so great about having a pint in the sun by the water?

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
The Chain Locker & Shipwrights, Quay Street.
35. Public transport = ferries. V. disappointing for people who prefer hot, crowded buses.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
Falmouth Custom House Quay.
36. Oh, and the view from the ferry? Absolute bag of shit.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
St Mawes Ferry, Falmouth.
37. But that's Falmouth for you. It really is as ugly as they come.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed
St Mawes Ferry, Falmouth.