1. For as long as you can remember, you've been in love with Ikea.
2. You find it an extremely soothing place.
3. You don't understand people who think it's stressful.
4. To you it’s like going to a theme park for grown-ups.
5. The best ride is the trolley in the warehouse.
6. The second-best ride is the travelator, even though it's very slow.
7. The third-best ride is the office chairs.
8. You felt a deep spiritual connection to the Ikea monkey.
9. You get a rush of excitement when you first walk into the bit with all the fake living rooms.
10. You spend time in each room, pretending you live there.
11. Sometimes you try out the beds, and maybe even close your eyes for a moment.
12. You'll spend a long time contemplating a large, expensive item like a sofa which you have no intention/means of buying.
13. You love the strange names they choose for their products.
14. And you know quite a lot of them off by heart.
15. You always make time to hang out in the cafe, looking at the beautiful view of the car park and industrial estate beyond.
16. And of course you'll eat a plate of delicious meatballs.
18. You get a whole new rush when you enter the markethall.
19. You're just very excited by crockery.
20. And rugs.
21. Not to mention bedding. Bedding is like crack to you.
22. You have a preposterously large number of Ikea bags at home – testament to your many visits.
23. Not forgetting your impressive collection of Ikea pencils.
24. But no matter how many times you go, you can always find an excuse to go again.
