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Only A Massive Dad Will Laugh At 24/42 Of These Jokes

Are you in fact a dad? Time to find out!

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  1. Check off all the jokes that make you laugh...
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    What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
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    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down
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    Did you know french fries aren't cooked in France? They're cooked in Greece
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    Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Don't worry – it's tearable
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    I just watched a show about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw
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    If you see a robbery at an apple store, does that make you an iWitness?
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    Spring is here. I got so excited, I wet my plants!
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    A ham sandwich walks into a bar. The bar tenders says, "Sorry, we don't serve food."
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    What's Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1
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    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day
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    Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish
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    You heard of that new band 1023MB?<br />They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.
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    Where did the college-aged vampire like<br />to shop? Forever 21.
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    What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
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    What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison!
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    What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.
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    What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAA-IIIINNNNS!”
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    I asked a guy if he got a haircut. He said, "No,<br />I got them all cut!"
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    Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
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    What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.
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    What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea
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    What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite
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    I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.
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    You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.
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    The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He got like that from too much pi.
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    What do you call a dog that can<br />do magic? A Labracadabrador
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    What do prisoners<br />use to call<br />each other?<br />Cell phones.
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    What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus
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    Did you hear about the cow that got promoted? He was<br />OUT-STANDING<br />in his field
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    I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.
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    How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
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    What do you call<br />a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.
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    Don't trust atoms. They make up everything
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    Did you hear about the circus fire?<br />It was in tents
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    Two guys<br />walk into a bar. The third one walks round it.
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    What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
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    I asked my friend if she was alright. She said, "No, I’m half left!”
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    Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
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    What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick
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    What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is heavy, and the other one is a little lighter
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    What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe? Kilometery Cyrus
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    You can't run through a campsite. You can only ran because it's past tents
 
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