1. He would be called out for not smiling enough.
2. People would assess how much of a bitch he is.
3. He'd be negatively compared to his wife Melania Trump, who would be considered more qualified, intelligent, and capable than him in every way.
4. His personal life would be examined and used against him.
5. Commentators would point out that he isn't really attractive enough to be a leader.
6. People would speculate about whether he'd break down and tears during the debates.
7. And his intellect and health would be called into question.
8. And of course he'd be accused of playing the gender card.
9. Writers would be sure to acknowledge his inevitable shortcomings as a man.
10. Particularly his "shrill" voice, which would just really, really annoy everyone for some reason, it's not sexist, honestly.
11. The only thing worse than how shrill he is would be his incessant shouting.
12. When he performed well, he'd be called "smug".
Becky Barnicoat is writer and illustrator for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
Contact Becky Barnicoat at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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