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    A Guide To Meeting *The One*

    Follow these steps and find the person of your dreams.

    1. Put on your old gym gear from the dirty laundry basket.

    2. Run for the bus.

    3. Miss the bus.

    4. Swear at the bus.

    5. Once your hair is sufficiently slicked with sweat, your face is bright red, and you're starting to smell, it's time to relax...

    6. Congratulations! You just met The One.