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How Much Of A Miserable Bastard Are You Actually?

Fuck everyone.

Posted on
  1. Flickr: mhx

    Tick off all the things that annoy you:

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    1. Children laughing.
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    2. Children playing.
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    3. Children shouting.
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    4. People eating with their mouth open.
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    5. The sound of the person next to you breathing.
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    6. Happy people.
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    7. Young people.
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    8. The word "amazing".
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    9. The word "awesome".
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    10. The word "amazeballs".
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    11. People who say "like" all the time.
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    12. People who sign off emails with kisses.
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    13. People who sign off texts with kisses.
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    14. People who constantly say they "love" things that they clearly only like.
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    15. Someone describing something as "the best thing ever".
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    16. People tweeting about their boring daily habits.
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    17. Twitter.
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    18. Facebook challenges.
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    19. The Facebook Motherhood Challenge.
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    20. Photos of your friends' lovely lives on Facebook.
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    21. Facebook.
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    22. Hot, sunny holiday destinations.
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    23. Crowds.
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    24. Festivals.
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    25. Musicals.
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    26. People humming.
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    27. People singing happily to themselves.
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    28. Your friends singing you "Happy Birthday."
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    29. Your birthday.
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    30. Other people's birthdays.
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    31. Romantic surprises.
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    32. Surprise parties.
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    33. Just parties in general.
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    34. Fashionable people.
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    35. Hipsters.
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    36. Celebrities.
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    37. The Voice.
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    38. The Great British Bake Off.
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    39. Reality television in general.
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    40. Television in general.
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    41. Instagram pictures of avocados.
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    42. Instagram pictures of all food but especially burgers dripping with cheese – if I see another fucking burger dripping with cheese...
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    43. Humblebrag photos of knees in hammocks taken by friends on Thai beaches.
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    44. Instagram.
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    45. Jars instead of glasses.
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    46. Food served on planks and slates.
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    47. Trendy street-food markets.
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    48. Any interactive game like charades.
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    49. Karaoke.
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    50. David Attenborough.
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    51. Clare Balding.
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    52. Matt Baker.
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    53. The One Show.
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    54. People walking slowly in front of you.
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    55. Gentrification.
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    56. Farrow and Ball.
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    57. Hackney.
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    58. People who spend lots of money on frivolous shit like clothes and make-up.
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    59. The un-tah-un-tah-un-tah sound of someone’s headphones on public transport.
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    60. People speaking loudly on public transport.
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    61. Children on public transport.
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    62. People using their mobile phone in your train carriage.
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    63. People shouting loudly into their mobile phone at any time.
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    64. "Morning people".
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    65. Small talk.
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    66. People who say, "Good weekend?"
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    67. People who like Ed Sheeran.
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    68. People who like Taylor Swift.
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    69. People who like any modern pop music.
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    70. Strangers talking to you on public transport.
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    71. Strangers asking you for directions.
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    72. Strangers talking to you anywhere at any time.
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    73. Chuggers.
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    74. A baby's sweet giggle.
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    75. A kitten padding gently at your leg wanting to play a game with you.
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    76. Puppies.

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