1. Checking whether or not the the other one smells.
Even if they smell bad, they kind of smell good to you because love is strange.
2. And making sure there’s nothing in their nose.
If they’ve got a bogey you tell them right away, and it’s never awkward.
3. Searching each other’s bodies for spots, blackheads, or ingrown hairs.
If you’re really gross, you might even squeeze them.
4. Turning farting into a competitive sport.
Sometimes it’s like your farts are talking to each other.
5. Pulling out weird long hairs that grow in odd places.
They seem to sprout from nowhere overnight.
6. And updating each other on your successes and failures in the toilet.
If you do a big one, you want them to know. If you have the shits, you need their love and sympathy.
7. Sharing a toothbrush on holiday because one of you forgot to pack yours.
Yes, it’s gross, but then so is kissing with tongues when you think about it.
8. Having a nice chat while one of you is weeing.
You draw the line at pooing in front of each other – some things are sacred.