It's nearly Christmas, everyone!
But as Christmas approaches, I need to warn you about a terrible scourge threatening to destroy the festive season as we know it.
The scourge of electric-blue Christmas lights.
They're everywhere.
They're taking over our villages, towns, and cities.
Christmas is meant to be the season of cosiness, of warm, twinkling lights glittering in the darkness.
Is this the sort of sinister, haunting Christmas we want for our children???
Does this make you feel cosy, festive, and warm?
No it does fucking not.
These are proper Christmas lights:
You've got red – the colour of Santa, holly berries, and Rudolph's nose.
Green – the colour of Christmas trees.
Yellow, the colour of candlelight and log fires.
And white, of course – like glittering winter snow.
Electric blue is the colour of emergencies, crime scenes, and accidents.
It's the colour of anti-heroin train station toilets.
It's the colour of a fly killer in a butcher's shop.
This window display does not say, "Merry Christmas, everyone!"
When did 'Emergency Services Blue become an acceptable Christmas lights colour? I'm sure it's got something to do w… https://t.co/iJPVKh88qv
It says, "All the flies in here are dead."
The new trend for blue Christmas lights is tainting what should be the purest and happiest of seasons with darkness and fear.
Awkward when from a distance you're admiring someone's blue Christmas lights then you get closer and realise they'r… https://t.co/PRDzeUT1MI
Someone has even written a book drawing a direct parallel between blue lights and disaster.
This is just eerie.
There's more warmth and festivity coming from the street light and bus window.
I've never felt so alone.
This is 100% more festive than a town centre with blue Christmas lights.
The people on the internet know what they're talking about!
Christmas lights should never be blue! End of story👍🏽 https://t.co/oqK6t30E3g
The public has spoken.
It's just wrong.
@Ironbridgeview God preserve from that most unchristmassy of spectacles .... blue christmas lights.