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    America: You Can't Have A President Called Donald Fart

    Donald Fart.

    Hi America! We need to chat.


    Maybe you’ve already heard this. Maybe you’ve got a British friend who’s mentioned it. BUT YOU CLEARLY HAVEN’T TAKEN IT ON BOARD.

    Wingnut Productions

    If you had, things would surely be very different now.

    We need to talk about what a “trump” is.


    You've got a lot of trump stuff in your country. You've got Trump towers and Trump head gear:


    A Trump Taj Mahal and fucking Trump bottled water:

    You have a guy who genuinely could become the president, called Donald Trump.

    CNN /

    Guys, in Britain a trump is a fart.


    It’s a fart!

    Comedy Central

    It’s gas, a toot, a poot, a stinker.

    It’s a big, disgusting, feculent blast of foul-smelling methane emitted from someone’s rectum accompanied by a rapid vibration of their anal sphincters.

    Yes, there are two anal sphincters. You all have two, each and every one of you.

    Trumps are funny at first. For, like, a few seconds.

    But then they’re disgusting. They clear rooms. They repulse people.


    You can't have a president called Donald Fart.

    BuzzFeed /

    Well I mean, you can. But we'll laugh at you. Your call.

    Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed / Getty

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