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    10 Lies Childhood Films Told You

    Ever wondered why adult life is so confusing? It's because the films you watched as a kid......are full of LIES. LIES like:

    1. Childminders look like this-

    And not like this.

    2. Animals totally understand you.

    3. While we're on's ok to find them sexually attractive if they're wearing human clothes

    ......and even if they aren't.



    4. If you want a hot guy to like you......

    .....just change your body shape.....

    .....and he will!

    5. And if you want a fit girl to like you, Stockholm syndrome can make it happen.

    6. Friendship can overcome the food chain

    It can't.

    7. There are no consequences for lawbreakers in the Middle East.

    8. The British Empire produced upright citizens.


    Fact: Pocahontas was 11 when she met John Smith.


    The real Pocahontas.


    The real John Smith.

    9. Being orphaned will ultimately lead to adventure

    and possibly wealth.

    10. And the only viable career paths for women are the monarchy,

    some form of childcare

    or prostitution.

    And if you want to know more-you'll have to come and see me in Edinburgh!