You Know You Went To University Of Arizona When…

The Dirty T might not be the most beautiful place but all of us who have had the honor of attending the U of A know that it’s a slice of paradise.

1. Coronado

You lived in Coronado or got drunk in Coronado or partied in Coronado. You know it was affectionately referred to as the Nasty-Nado or Nine Floors of Whores. You remember having to swipe in all your guest Thursdays-Saturday nights. Walking past all the paramedics and cop cars while drunk on the weekend was the hardest thing you ever had to do as a freshman.

2. Other Dorms

If you didn’t live in Coronado or AZ SO, you lived on highland and were jealous. The only thing you had to hold over their heads was that you had Highland market while they had the shitty PSU (now amazing).

*if you lived in Maricopa, Yuma, Graham-Greenly, Babcock, Gila, Hopi, Yavapai, Stadium Dorms, Manzi-Mo or any of those dorms that people hated, you should ask for a refund on your freshman year, cause you got screwed and did it wrong.

3. Running of the Bulls

For Greeks, you’ve either been apart of or watched Running of the Bulls on Bid Day. The only bid day in the world that needs police reenforcement. If you don’t know, youtube it.

4. You still don’t really know what Sonoran Snowballs are

… even though you drive by the truck all the time on the corner of Broadway and Campbell

5. You’ve put vodka into an eegee’s party pack

and ate it while day raging or at a pool party

6. You’re addicted to Taco Shop or Los Betos

You’re pretty sure taco shop puts crack in their tacos, but you don’t really care because they’re so amazing

7. You have a love/hate relationship with the Taco Bell on the corner of Speedway and Campbell

because it’s in the perfect location for drunkies, its close proximity to Dirtbags and Greek Row. you also have a hate for the Wendy’s and McDonalds on that corner as well and how conveniently located they are next to Wells Fargo just in case you’re broke after a night at the bars…. go get more money and get some late night tacos.

8. You’ve also witnessed homeless people in the library

some sleeping, some talking to themselves, and some with knives causing the library to go on lock down

9. You’ve actually suffocated or have been spilled on dozens of times while trying to get a drink at Ben’s

10. You’ve witnessed a number of strange things happening on the mall

between water slides, snowboarding half pipes and ice skating rinks

11. You can’t wait to have your first Harry Potter shot at the Dub

or you remember/dont remember your first Harry Potter shot at the Dub

12. You start your Friday nights off with $5 sake at Fuku Fridays

13. For Greeks, you know that Homecoming is more than a football game and Spring Fling is not about a carnival, but are instead excuses to party all week long

14. You go to FBR (now the Waste Management Open) in Phoenix with the entire U of A population and get trashed at the 16th hole

15. You get some of your classes canceled due to the Tucson Rodeo

no class at all for your pima classes!

16. You know Beta Theta Pi, Cochise Dorm, and Bear Down Gym were used in filming Revenge of the Nerds

17. You know basketball season is no joke

You know we love football season with tailgating and leaving the game at half time, but you know once you come back from winter break, shit gets real. It’s Basketball season and “It’s Game Time McKale”… also Sean Miller for President and we had D. Will first. BOOM.

18. You want to take History and Traditions of the U of A with Dr. Knight

Not only is Dr. Knight the best teacher at the U of A, but you want to have guest speakers in class like Rich Rod, Sean Miller come talk and sing “Bear Down” for your class final …. and one last thing, “GO CATS”

19. You’ve chanted along with the Ooh Aah man at basketball games

and were crushed when this last season was his last

20. You know the Zona Zoo is the best student section in the Pac-12

Zona Zoo was ranked the #1 student section for visiting teams to fear in the Pac-12

21. You want to jump in the fountain at Old Main before you graduate

it’s tradition

22. You’ve been told, at least once, that you are going to hell by Brother Jed on your way to class

He also loves to call everyone fornicators, prostitutes, sluts, partiers and the devils workers…

so in retaliation, we just Harlem Shake(d) (shook?) it in his face.

23. You’ve gone to school in monsoon torrential down pour, lightening storms, hail, rain, snow and blazing heat all in one year, yet it always seems to be a toasty 98 degrees

ok, except for that 2-3 week period in January and February when its actually 15 degrees and it gives everyone an excuse to wear our cute winter clothes, Hunter rain boots and the clothes we cant wear 11 months of the year.

24. You’ve had a milkshake (or 50) from the Cellar


25. You’ve witnessed many Quidditch games and Dungeons and Dragons reenactments when you’ve walked by the Highland Bowl

or people blazing

26. You’ve easily waited in a 20-30 minute line at the Starbucks in the bookstore

You know that when there are only about 20 people ahead of you, it’s a fast day at Starbucks and you’ve scored.

27. You’ve attended Star Pass Pool Party

and then died, shortly after

28. You’ve enjoyed drinks on the outdoor patio of Frog on many day drinking occasions

Attempting to finish your beer card takes a lot of determination and a lot of beer. Start early rather than later kids.

29. You couldn’t wait to turn 21 so you could *legally* drink at Bags

Do you enjoy having zero personal space, lock-less bathroom stalls and having your shoes stick to the floor because of unknown dried liquids? Go to Bags, you’ll love it.

30. You ate multiple Highland Burritos (drunk and sober)

even though you knew they were about 3,000 calories each…. and you didn’t care.

31. You know that it would be easier to find a parking spot on the moon, than in Zone 1 parking lot

You have a better chance of surviving the Hunger Games than finding a parking spot in Zone 1. For Greeks, Monday night chapter? Don’t even think about it.

32. You know you go to the best school in the world!

Through it all from being little freshman, cooler sophomores, know it all juniors, and fuck it seniors, at the end of the day we know that the University of Arizona is one beautiful and crazy college oasis and that it’s the best school in the whole world. BEAR DOWN WILDCATS! oh and p.s. ASU sucks, get a real degree.

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