1. Good morning world!
2. Wait — what's going on up there?
3. Is that me?
4. I mean, I'm looking in a mirror, but that can't be me.
5. Because that is not my hair.
6. It's on my head but that is NOT my HAIR.
7. How do I fix it?
8. I can fix this, right?
9. Do I have time to shower?
10. Ugh, no. OK... maybe if I brush it...?
11. WHY DID I BRUSH IT?
12. I can slick it down with gel.
13. I made it so much worse.
14. Now it looks terrible AND greasy.
15. Put it up.
16. Put it up, put it up, put it up, put it up.
17. How is it greasy in the front and frizzy in the back?
18. THAT DEFIES SCIENCE.
19. Maybe if I braid it.
20. I look like a rat.
21. Take out the braid.
22. I didn't think it could look any worse, and yet HERE WE ARE.
23. I'm shaving it off.
24. I totally have the bone structure for a shaved head.
25. And I have no other options.
26. I can't shave my hair off, who am I kidding?
27. At the very least, I can't shave it off today — I have to leave for work in three minutes.
28. Back in the braid it goes.
29. Throw on a headband for good measure.
30. Why is it so flat?
31. It's both flat and frizzy, that's not fair.
32. Whatever, no one will notice.
33. Every single person that looks at me looks straight at my hair.
34. I should go home.
35. Can I take a personal day for bad hair?
36. Honestly, it looks so bad I'd be doing my co-workers a favor.
37. Are there any hat stores nearby?
38. How do models look so good in hats?
39. OMG, the commute made it look WORSE.
40. Take the braid out.
41. Put the braid back in.
42. Maybe lipstick will distract from how bad my hair looks.
43. Someone just asked if I did something different with my hair.
44. She's dead to me.
45. No, I will not be going to drinks after work today, thanks.
46. SOMEONE'S TAKING A PICTURE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
47. Duck out of frame. Duck out of frame. Duck out of frame.
48. I need to delete that picture.
49. Ugh, it's too late.
50. OK, work's done. Straight home, no eye contact.
51. Pray to the hair gods to make tomorrow a better day.