"My dad used to tell me that when the ice cream man played music it meant he was sold out of ice cream. What a cruel trick."
All Tangled Up
"As a kid, I hated dealing with my hair, especially in the summer when I'd spend all day playing outside. So my dad started telling me that if I got split ends, I'd go bald. I always washed and brushed my hair after that."
"My mom told me if I didn't play outside for at least an hour a day, I'd turn into a vampire and all of my friends would be scared of me."
A Little Birdie Told Me...
"My mom used to tell me she had a little bird that would fly around outside and watch me when she wasn't around and would tell me if I did anything bad. I still hate birds."
What's Your Flavorite?
"My parents told me there was only one flavor of ice cream: vanilla. They told us this so we wouldn't spill chocolate ice cream everywhere and stain things. It wasn't until I was much older and could look into the case at the ice cream parlor I learned there were many more flavors."
The Seed Situation
"Neither of my parents likes watermelon, but all of my friends always had it when I went to their houses. I asked my parents why WE never had watermelon in the summer, and my mom told me the watermelon seeds were dangerous — she said if I ate one by accident, a whole watermelon would grow inside of me."
The Plant Perception
"I used to tell my daughter plants cry if you pull them out of the ground or rip leaves off. Obviously, this backfired when she refused to eat things like lettuce, bursting into tears, 'Pwants cwy!!!'"
Momma's Fairy Tale
"My mom used to tell me there were fairies in this little tucked-away part of the garden, and if you spent long enough out there (i.e., the whole day), they would probably eventually maybe come out, but you had to be patient and also very quiet."
Just a Spoonful of Sugar
"My mom packed a 'homesick remedy' in my bag the first time I went away for summer camp. It came in a little glass bottle, and she told me to drink it when I was feeling sad. The first night, I couldn't stop crying, so I drank a little ...and it worked! Right away, my tears subsided, and I felt better about being away from home.
"She later admitted that it was, of course, just sugar water. That was a good lie."
"On road trips, my dad told me that those 'Watch for Falling Rocks' signs were actually about ghosts that threw things off the ledges. He said if I was really quiet the whole ride maybe I'd see one.
"I never saw one."
Tell us the funniest lie you've told your kids!
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