21 Things Anyone Who Is Successful, But Not That Successful Will Get

    *Pays all bills* *is broke for the rest of the month*

    1. You've moved out of your parents' house.

    2. But they still pay your phone bill.

    3. You have an adult job.

    4. But no idea how to do your taxes.

    5. Sometimes you cook yourself top-notch dinners.

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    6. But other times you opt for something that requires less work.

    7. You have a wardrobe full of tasteful and stylish clothes to wear to work.

    8. But still wear the same dirty sweatshirt and pair of ripped jeans on the weekends.

    9. You have a 401(k) plan set up.

    10. But no fucking clue what a 401(k) plan is.

    11. And anytime someone even mentions a personal savings account your heart stops beating right there in your chest.

    12. You set schedules so you can get through your day efficiently.

    13. But still show up late everywhere you go.

    14. You're in a loving relationship.

    15. But it's with your cat.

    16. You surround yourself with close, trustworthy friends.

    17. But they're just as successfully unsuccessful as you are.

    18. People come to you for your advice/trust your opinion.

    19. Even though you don't even take your own advice most of the time.

    20. And, finally, you pay all of your bills on time.

    21. But then you have approximately zero dollars and zero cents left for the rest of the month.