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How Alice Jones Are You?

Are you just barely Alice Jones? Or are you a heaping serving of Alice Jones with a side of Alice Jones?

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  1. First off, how much do you LOVE Chattanooga, TN?

    Never been, don't care to go.
    Don't you mean Nashville?
    Seems like a sweet city! I'd care to visit once or twice.
    Enough to go 80mph in a 60 zone just to be able to make eye contact with the driver of a truck with Tennessee plates.
  2. How many animals have ~passed on~ under your loving care?

    None, of course!
    1 or 2... all goldfish go to heaven.
    3 or 4, and they died peacefully, of natural causes.
    Upwards of 15. (But they all lived good lives, I swear!)
  3. Speaking of animals, how do you feel about eating meat?

    Love a good steak!
    I'm strictly vegetarian.
    I'm vegan. I could never taint my purity on an animal product.
    I'm a pescatarian. Unless there's meat in that lasagna.
  4. Since we're on the topic of meals, what's the best time for some din?

    5pm, right after work.
    6pm, a respectable and reasonable time for some grub.
    8pm, a little on the later side, but I lead a busy life.
    11pm, right after my evening shower. Although by this time I'm so hungry I don't even have time to change out of my towel.
  5. Oh no! You completely forgot that halloween is tomorrow. What last-minute costume do you throw together?

    A bedsheet ghost
    A vampire
    A witch
    A Hershey's chocolate bar
  6. Finally, you're working at the forest service, and you get an alarming call. A disgruntled foreign man is concerned about seeing bears, and is threatening to fight one if he encounters it. What do you tell him?

    Call over a supervisor. You don't want to be responsible for another bear attack.
    Hang up. You don't have time for this nonsense.
    You play dead.
    Sincerely answer the man's question. Advise him to make noise and retreat, and proceed with caution. After all, this is a good, honest patron of the wilderness that you're talking to.

How Alice Jones Are You?

You got: 100% Alice Jones!

Is anyone jonesing for some Alice Jones? If so, you've come to the right place-- this individual here is 100%, pure-breed certified, authentic and OOAK Alice Jones.

100% Alice Jones!
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You got: Nope, sorry. Not Alice Jones.

Maybe you're Bridger?

Nope, sorry. Not Alice Jones.
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