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Things That Happened On Every School Trip

"Misssssssssssss, Gary's barfed on the coach again."

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1. No matter the destination, the excitement was REAL.

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Even visiting a mind-numbingly boring art museum was infinitely better than double maths.

Waterboarding was better than double maths.

4. The political power play of who to sit next to was no laughing matter.

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Do you sit next to your best mate Fran because of loyalty, Ella because she brought her new iPod and she's definitely got the latest Jason Derulo album, or Will because you want to jump his bones?

This is going to need careful consideration...

5. You spent the whole coach ride sharing your "top five" lists of all the boys/girls in your year...

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...which quickly spiralled into "Shag, Marry, Kill".

Sexual tension + knife = slice and dice.

6. There was always a pair devouring each other's faces, as if their survival depended on it.

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And on some occasions, there was also a strategically placed jacket over their laps and OMG just NOPE.

7. If you saw another school, it wasn't dissimilar to facing off with rival tribes.

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Even Johnny, the quiet little nerd, turned into an unstoppable hooligan – it would take two teachers to hold that animal back.

8. Someone would always, always, always spew their guts on the coach.

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And they never, ever, ever managed to direct their vom into the allocated plastic bags.

Two hours stuck on a coach stinking of sick? Delightful. Thanks, Gary.

10. No one ever gave a damn about the gallery/museum/historical site you were visiting.

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And you were all screwed when you found out you'd have a test on what you had "learnt" that day.

"You wut, Miss?!"

12. Someone's parents always gave them money to buy lunch, automatically making them the coolest.

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Your stupid tuna sandwiches and tangerine were some kinda bullshit.

All you wanted to do was throw your stupid tuna sandwiches in their stupid, smug face, but at the same time be their best friend, because you wanted a bloody Maccie D's chip.

13. If you were staying over, the strict single-sex dorms blended together pretty quickly after lights out.

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The mad dash you'd make back to your bed when you heard a teacher coming was gold medal worthy.

14. And the idiot that fell asleep on the way home always ended up with something drawn on their face.

Prepare yourselves, it's the school trip to end all school trips, as the Bad Education gang are headed...TO CORNWALL!

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