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10 Rules You Definitely Don't Have To Follow

Every single one of these rules is begging to be broken. Break any one of 'em, and you'll probably face as much consequence as you will remorse. Which is to say, none.

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1. You can't make up your own nickname.

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If every rapper ever did, then so can you.

2. Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

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Because there's no greater risk than the potential for happiness, right?

3. No breakfast for dinner.

Or what? Everyone will be thoroughly satisfied with dinner?

4. Don't bite off more than you can chew.

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What're you, the mouth police? The metaphorical mouth police? Boooo, your job! This breakfast is delicious.

5. Sharing is caring.

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When's the last time someone told you, "It was me. I'm the one who took your lunch from the office fridge without asking," or "Hey, man. Thanks for the flu."

6. Take a 30-minute break after eating before swimming.

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A. I can find the surface of this pool, even if this creamsicle gave me a cramp.

B. Bloated things float better.

C. Try to stop me.

7. Only 30 minutes on the treadmill.

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You're just mad I stay winning during our treadmill race.

8. Don't spend money you don't have.

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This is literally what credit cards are for.

9. Honesty is the best policy.

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For example, try to say this one out loud to pretty much anyone without at least getting yelled at: "That's right, I lost track of the nukes."

10. Safety first.

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There would be no fun in the world if everything were safe.