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The World's 13 Laziest Salmon

These salmon are bums. (h/t to McSweeney's for the suggestion)

1. / Via

"Swimming is a futile effort."

2. / Via

"Thanks for carrying me. I was getting tired."

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"You want me to finish crossing the road? Do I look like a chicken to you?"

4. / Via

"I'm JUST resting!!! Sheesh, get off my back."

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"It's too hard to avoid being eaten."

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"Can you work my caudal fins for me? I can't bring myself to bother."

7. / Via

"I'll spawn when I'm goddamned ready to spawn."

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"Do I look like I want to leap for you? Get out of here."

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"I meant to have the dentist do something about my teeth... Maybe I just need to floss more."

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"This was inevitable, really. It's easier to just be done with it."

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"I mean, he caught me. I'm not bothering to contest it, so I'll just have to live with the consequences."

12. / Via Flickr: slang589

"Look, SHUT UP. I can see he's right in front of me. I'll eat him in a moment."



"Dude, don't act like it's so weird to just see a fish sitting there. It happens. No need to judge me."

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