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12 Snakes That Are Not Looking Forward To St. Patrick's Day

But can you blame them? Saint Patrick supposedly drove all the snakes from Ireland, after all. The holiday is imbued with horrifyingly speciesist, anti-snake sentiment. IMBUED.

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4. This poor snake's family was exiled from Ireland centuries ago. Now he seeks asylum from the inevitable green-clad mob among sympathetic mammals.

8. GENTLEMAN SNAKE IS TOO FANCY TO CARE IF YOU HATE HIM. But nonetheless, he'd appreciate a relatively quiet St. Patrick's Day this year, OK?

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Gentleman Snake will forgive you if you're drunk off your ass, though. He's just that kind of guy.

12. This snake rented a tuxedo JUST to attend a Washington D.C. party where he hopes to sway senators into passing extra protective measures for snakes on St. Patrick's Day.

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