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Music

What's Your Pitchfork Score?

Let us officially calculate what you're worth to the universe.

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  1. Auguste Comte
    Auguste Comte
    John Stuart Mill
    John Stuart Mill
    Søren Kierkegaard
    Søren Kierkegaard
    Henry David Thoreau
    Henry David Thoreau
    Karl Marx
    Karl Marx
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    Max Weber
    Max Weber
    Bertrand Russell
    Bertrand Russell
    Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
    Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
  2. Disney
    Disney
  3. The Strokes,
    The Strokes, "Is This It"
    The Breeders,
    The Breeders, "Last Splash"
    New Order,
    New Order, "Power, Corruption & Lies"
    Mariah Carey,
    Mariah Carey, "Glitter"
    Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti,
    Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, "Before Today"
    Madvillain,
    Madvillain, "Madvillainy"
    Fugazi,
    Fugazi, "13 Songs"
    "(500) Days of Summer" soundtrack

What's Your Pitchfork Score?

You got: 8.0

Now that you've gotten to a point in your life where you've gotten over your adolescent hang-ups, you've managed to avoid a plunge into mediocrity and your idiosyncrasies glimmer. With even more ablution, you can surely hit the mark.

8.0
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You got: 8.4 — Best New Music

You are cloyingly optimistic, but it helps you eschew the doubt and self-destruction that affects so many of your peers. You're sometimes clunky and awkward, but always self-aware, which ultimately makes you a complete delight and surprise.

8.4 — Best New Music
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You got: 7.7

Your exhausting one-note perfection has begun to feel like a deja vu of sorts — an eclectic style that hasn't mutated but rather warbles on into serene oblivion.

7.7
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You got: 5.6

Hiding behind a swoop of fringe, your understated approach vacillates between low-dosage melancholy and dilettantish sensitivity. But you are not without your moments of charm, Lurking between your mix-and-match riffs is a tension that lacks focus but reverberates with a twinkle of confidence.

5.6
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You got: 0.0
0.0
Jeffrey Reardon
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You got: 10 — Best New Music

You are a sparkling paradox of a human. You brood, you ponder, but ultimately always trust your instincts, and you simultaneously prove your vulnerability and strength in doing so. You are, simply, a gem.

10 — Best New Music
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You got: 6.7

You're fastidious in everything you do, but don't let your attention to detail bar you from breaking new ground. You're inventive and can surprise people with your vivid perception of the world when you let your guard down. Just don't get caught up in trying to adhere to a formula.

6.7
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You got: 6.3

You flirt with provocation occasionally but mostly live in the vicinity of calculable success. You know what works for you, but your own predilection for praise is your tragic flaw.

6.3
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You got: 7.1

Your gnomic tendencies make it hard for others to keep up with you, and your mind unspools life truths at a dizzying rate. Unfortunately, your pseudo-acid-informed musings will eventually obfuscate the true marrow of your work.

 7.1
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