1. Obama Fingers
Nothing like cashing in on popular people and trends with a lazy ass product like this. I’d recommend Palin Yukon potatoes as a side dish.
2. Eggo Breakfast Pizza
What better way to start your day than with a simulated ‘breakfast’ pizza. The toppings? Yogurt, granola and freeze dried berries. The result? A soggy mess.
3. Pickle Pops
Oh, for effs sake. This is just disturbing and wrong. Nothing like a nice sour load in your mouth on a hot summer day.
4. Breyers Bubble Gum Ice Cream
If you want to simulate swallowing large wads of gum, this is the product for you.
5. DiGiorno Pizza And Cookies/Wyngz
How lazy are people that they can’t reach 3 feet away from frozen pizza to frozen desserts? If you want a temporary depression cure in a box, go crazy. Also, WYNGZ??? Is that some front for some bizarre Taco Bell-style watered down chicken?
6. Pilsbury Pizza Pops
Can’t pick up that phone for pizza? Well, pop these f***ers into the toaster.
7. Yummy Chicken Breast Rings
Chicken breast and ‘rings’ should never be in the same sentence.
8. Japon Frozen Sushi
You can enjoy an hour or two wondering how the hell to prepare this. Do you microwave it? Or do you let it thaw till you can smell delicious freezer-burned salmon?
9. Jimmy Dean Pancake & Sausage On A Stick
Hungover from your pizza and cookie/wyngz meal from the night before? Well, start your day right with the laziest concoction ever created. Slouch on your ass and enjoy this artery-clogging breakfast monstrosity.
10. Hot Pockets Sideshots
Breaded hockey pucks stuffed with gooey cheese and meat product. This is the next step once you’re too lazy to get fast food from your local grease joint.
11. Findus Crispy Pancakes
Looks delicious, but these are not God’s pancakes. An abomination.
12. Skyline Chili Spaghetti
Cincinatti’s finest chili spaghetti, now ready for your microwave. Overcooked pasta never tasted so good.
13. Mister Brains 4 Pork Faggots
Faggots: “Faggots are traditionally made from pig’s heart, liver and belly fat meat as well as other meat cut offs.” Basically an American hotdog in meatball form. I’ll pass, thanks. :1
14. Lowrey’s Microwaveable Pork Rinds
Pork rinds are an acquired taste. So what about popping pig skin in your microwave? Sounds delicious, right? Right?
15. Stouffers Welsh Rarebit
A fancy name for toast covered in cheese. Who thought this was a good idea?
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