There's A Tinder For Pretty Much Everything

Want to have a threesome, adopt a dog, or meet Jewish singles with just a swipe? Good news.

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Swipe right for the cool dogs, and left for the shitty dogs. If you see a REALLY cool dog, you can reach out to the shelter or owner and set up a meeting. Fun!

It's not totally clear what happens to the dogs who get swiped left too much, but like dogs who sit at the Humane Society too long, it's probably best not to dwell on it too much.

Whether you're an open-minded single looking to get down, or an open-minded couple looking to fill some uncomfortable sexual void or long-repressed urge that you still quietly think and fantasize about occasionally, 3nder's got you covered.

It's even got an incognito mode so your family and friends can't see what devious sexual behavior you're up to, which — for some reason — is an option you can turn on or off, which is great for those times you want YOUR GRANDMA TO KNOW ABOUT THE THREESOME YOU'RE HAVING.

Glimpse is a little like the anti-Tinder. Tinder is for the shallow and vain, where you can only approve or reject people based on their appearance.

Glimpse lets you approve or reject someone based on their interests, which it presents to you via their Instagram feed. You can really tell a lot about a person based on the tasteful filter they applied to that picture of their dinner last night.

Just think, you went to school from ages 5 to 18. Then you went to college until you were 22. Then some of you went on to grad school or medical school until you were 26, then you need at least a few years experience at an entry-level job until anyone takes you seriously...

...and now your career — your entire fate — is decided by a simple swipe on someone's cell phone. One little swipe to the left, and everything you've been working toward will have been for nothing. This is the future we've built for ourselves.

JDate for Jews on the go.

Jewish singles don't have time for overcomplicated web interfaces. It's 2014. Jewish singles should have the freedom to date and deny other Jewish singles with a glance and a swipe.

Tinder is an app that introduces you to hot singles that it thinks you might like. Songhop, on the other hand, is an app that introduces you to hot singles that it thinks you might like.

Get it? Like a record single? Lol. But seriously, SongHop is a pretty handy little app that learns about the type of music you like over time, and plays you snippets of music it thinks you'll like. (Which you swipe to heart, if you agree!)

As if LinkedIn wasn't already stressful enough.

Weave is like having to interview for a job, but instead of one person conducting the interview, everyone who uses this app is conducting the interview. And instead of an interview, they're just sort of taking a quick glance at you before they make up their minds about you.

If you're the type of person who knows exactly what you like the moment you see it, and the thing that you like is just dresses, you'd probably like Seamso.

I guess you'd be looking at a TON of dresses if you used Seamso, so maybe you're in some line of work that requires you to change frequently, or maybe you're just ruining your dresses a lot? I don't know. Maybe you're a plucky, young spaceship mechanic or something and you have to deal with oil spills a lot or something?

All the older adults I know have no idea how to use their phones, but I guess there are enough of them who have figured it out, because now there's Stitch, which is an "at-a-glance" dating app for the senior set.

Actually, I'm not totally sure how Stitch's app works, or even if it even has a mobile app, because it's a subscription service that costs actual money, which I guess is something that older adults have a lot of.

Pretty much the same as Seamso, but with shoes. And Seamso is pretty much the same as Tinder, but with dresses, so we're fully down the rabbit hole now.

Careful, deliberate consideration should be made when you're trying to decide what home to buy and spend the rest of your life living in. It's a huge decision that's going to likely lead to a lot of life changes and will put in debt for a long time.

Doorsteps Swipe throws all the careful decision-making out the window. Now you can drop $300k with the swipe of a finger.

So Product Hunt is a site that tracks the popularity of new products and startups like Tinder clones and then compiles them into lists like "Tinder for X."

Productind is like a Tinder clone that takes Product Hunt's products and funny lists of Tinder clones and applies a Tinder-like swiping mechanic to them. Wait... no...

No, wait... yeah, that's right.