22 Perfect Responses To Wrong Number Texts

New phone. Who dis?

1. The Doppelgänger Technique:

2. The “No Need for Med School” Method:


3. The Double Fake-Out (Cat Variant):

4. The “Refuse to Clarify” Maneuver:

5. The “Pasty Torso” Technique:

6. The “Pet Overload” Method:

7. The Patriotic Method:

8. The “Maybe They’ll Think They’re Actually Taking to a Dog?” Technique:

10. The “Colossal Cantaloupe” Maneuver:

11. The “Laugh to Keep From Crying” Technique:

12. The “String Them Along for as Long as Possible” Move:

13. The “Jake From State Farm” Ploy:

14. The “Surprise White Dudes” Technique:

15. The Uncomfortable Close-Up:

16. The “Wait…Are They Supposed to Be TIGHT?!” Response:

17. The “Wandering Oaken” Greeting:

18. The “I’ll Be Right There”:

19. The “Unnecessarily Mean” Move:

20. The “Deadbeat Dad” Technique:

21. The “This Is Helpful, Thoughtful Advice” Technique:


22. And if all else fails, hit them with a Baby Cage:

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