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31 Photos That, Despite Their Best Efforts, Are Not Of Penises

*Technically* safe for work.

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1. Technically, this is just a really thick sweet potato, and not a penis.

2. Technically, this is just a cut on someone's thumb, and not a penis.

3. Technically, this is a starfish of some sort, and not five connected penises.

4. Technically, this is a baby's foot, and not a penis.

5. Also a baby's foot, technically.

6. Technically a child's arm, not a penis.

7. Technically a dog's ear, not a penis.

8. Technically this is the man's head, not his penis.

9. Technically, this is a massage chair, not a penis.

10. Technically, this is just a glob of makeup, not a penis.

11. Technically speaking, that's her foot, not a penis.

12. Technically, the shadow is of two angel hands touching, not of two penis tips gently touching.

13. Technically, this figure is meant to be holding a baby, not its own monster dong.

14. Technically, this is a cucumber, not a penis.

15. Technically an inside-out sock. (Not a penis.)

16. Technically, this print is meant to depict the Leaning Tower of Pisa, not a penis.

17. Technically, this is a stalagmite, not some kind of cave boner.

18. Technically a snowblower, not an ejaculating penis.

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19. Technically just two mushrooms. No penises.

20. Technically, that's the thumb of the person in white, and not the penis of the person in blue.

21. Technically, this is just a potato, not a penis.

22. Technically she's using a mortar and pestle. She's not masturbating into a bowl.

23. Technically, this is an ad for something called the Simmons Hall of Science...though, to be honest, I'm dubious.

24. Technically, this is just some sort of small outgrowth on a potato, and not a small potato penis. As far as I know, potatoes do not have penises.

25. Technically, this is someone's hat, not a penis.

26. Technically, this is just a small, misshapen strawberry. (Not a penis, technically.)

27. Technically, this egg just cracked while boiling. It is not sexually aroused.

28. Technically, this is just a beach umbrella and the contrail of a passing jet, not an ejaculating penis.

29. Technically just a puppy. Not a penis.

30. Technically speaking, the stroke across the "H" of "Harvest" is being depicted as a stalk of wheat, which just happens to end right at the tip of a baguette. This is not meant to depict an ejaculating penis, as far as we can tell.

31. Technically, this squirrel has a piece of food, not an erection.

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